Real Housewives of New Jersey
A Bald Canary Sings

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
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Dancing in the Dark

After Angelo leaves, Kim D. theorizes that Melissa is so Jesus-y now because she has transitioned from porn again to born again. Teresa does not want to talk about her family in a malicious, gossipy way. Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. Angelo comes back to apologize, and Kim D. pounces on him to ask how long ago it was that Melissa danced for him. Teresa actually leaves the room so doesn't get to hear him say (except through the door that her ear is pressed against) that it was about seven or eight years ago, she worked there for eight or nine months, and she was a very talented stripper. When Teresa returns, she tells Kim that she doesn't want to hear it. Kim D. just mutters, "My precious" over and over again, which Teresa finds very confusing.

Meanwhile, Melissa and Kathy drive to the fashion show, ignorant and happy. Melissa is joyous at how wonderful her relationship with Teresa has become! Nothing will get in the way of their lovefest now! In Kim D.'s limo, Teresa learns that she'll be at a table with all of the other housewives, including Caroline. Kim D. seems convinced that nobody will get into a rage or flip a table or pull out a weave or call the police. It's all peace and harmony in Franklin Lakes!

The Gorga ladies all arrive at the show, and cheek kisses abound. Melissa does an impression of Kim D., but it is not nearly hideous enough. And then Caroline and Jacqueline and Lauren make their way in. They all sit at the table together and are civil, but there is much awkwardness. Juicy's brother Pete shows up to say hi, and Kathy gets all pissy about the fact that there are men in the facility but Rich wasn't invited. That is a strange footnote to the real action, though.

Just as Kathy and Teresa are waxing poetic about how too much tanning gives you a leathery chest, Angelo approaches the table to say hello to Melissa. Melissa seems not to look thrilled to see him, but in fact after he leaves she says she can't really remember where she knows him from. As Teresa says that her heart is "beating 500," we cut to a big ole' "to be continued" splashed across the screen. And then we hear the sweetest words in all the land: "Next week on the season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey..." Light at the end of the fish-scented tunnel!

Next week: Who the hell cares as long as it's over!

Yes, Potes knows that there is a two or three part reunion to come after the finale, but she's still excited! Tweet her @traciepotes or email potesypotes@gmail.com.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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