Meanwhile, Teresa and the girls wake up a very grumpy Juicy and head downstairs for their gift unwrapping. Juicy can't be bothered to actually participate in the process, so he lies down on the couch and props his hand on the back so the camcorder can catch it all. As the carnage unfolds, Teresa insists that she wants to show her daughters that Christmas isn't just about materialistic things, but about family. Though I suspect it'll be hard for them to cotton on to that message as they're playing with their iPods, banging on their drum sets (yep, another drum set), tooling around in a Mercedes mini-truck, and splashing through puddles in their silver sparkly Uggs. Also of note, in her next sound bite, Teresa playfully(?) complains that she should get the credit for the presents instead of Santa. Yeah, this holiday is not about the presents at all. The Teresa giftstravaganza is decidedly less elaborate than Melissa's. She gets some suede gloves and... well... I wouldn't call it the ugliest coat in the world, but I'm quite sure if I saw on the clearance rack at Loehmann's, I'd still shudder. But, as we know, Teresa's fashion taste is one-of-a-kind. She can't resist asking Juicy, "So no diamonds this year, huh?" Cringe.

It's a much calmer scene at the Wakile homestead. Victoria gets a lot of shoes, as young girls should. Kathy gets Rich a chunky, diamond-studded wedding band because he is in the habit of losing his. The kids present Kathy her gift (a laptop she can use to start her own business) with a beautiful speech about pursuing her dreams. Kathy and Rich both tear up at hearing how their kids love and support them. Victoria and Joseph officially have now tied with the Manzos for the coolest New Jersey kids. That is a nice present.

Elsewhere, Caroline and Albert are empty nesting since the boys are at their apartment and Lauren is with Vito. They drive around town reminiscing about past Christmases with their kids and joking about what old age will hold for them. Along the way, they drive down a road that they drove on the night Albert proposed. Apparently he was so nervous back in the day, that he pulled over abruptly (and decidedly non-romantically) under a highway overpass and popped the question. Cut to the present, where Albert makes good by stopping at the very same underpass, stepping out of the car, and getting down on one knee to present a now-crying Caroline with a serious diamond ring. Caroline explains that it's the original diamond, and Albert had it reset. Also, worth noting: Caroline used to be 92 pounds. I know she's a short lady, but wow!