Real Housewives of New Jersey
An Inconvenient Truce

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Previously: The families arrived in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, and Teresa lost (one of) her (500) suitcase(s), and it was the end of the world! Except that it totally wasn't, and everyone went about their business, being combative and pissing on roadsides and such. Fortunately, Teresa didn't lose her sparkly swimsuit suitcase, so she was able to treat the Manzo and Laurita clans to a fashion show while migraine-addled Caroline gave several facial expression variations on "I quit this bitch." Then, while Caroline stayed home to sleep off her headache, Teresa and Kathy once again got into a fight about nothing and everything all at once. Long story short, everybody is on Team Kathy. Seek solace from your monokinis, Tre.

We return to PC as Teresa and Juicy walk away from the confrontation. Rich follows behind to talk to Juicy while he's changing out of his swimsuit in the men's room. Juicy totally sells out Teresa for being a hothead, and Rich speculates, "I think they musta dropped her ass one too many times when she was a baby on her head." They bond over those foolish women and their bickering ways. Or, as Juicy puts it, "They're fuckin' retarded."

Elsewhere, Jacqueline and Chris take a walk by themselves and wonder if they should intervene. Chris tells Jacqueline to try to talk some sense into the women but walk away if she sees they won't be convinced. Then Jacqueline randomly gives Chris a piggyback ride, and he takes the opportunity to grab her breasts. Meanwhile, the Manzo boys and Greg have a hoot of a time wandering around looking for the Giudices and peeking in the girls' bathroom port hole at Teresa while she takes a dump and then changes into what, by my count, is the seventh bathing suit she's worn that day.

Night falls, and the staff at the resort light some sort of vaguely symbolic (or just realistically useful) bonfire. Melissa tells Kathy she doesn't need to defend herself for anything, but Kathy realizes she isn't going to make any headway with Teresa's crazy ass and resolves to leave it. Back at the cabana, Jacqueline catches up with Teresa, who explains that Kathy's (completely unrelated) comments gave her flashbacks of the Posche fashion show. She asks, "Did I overreact," and Jacqueline stays quiet, which in my book is a "Yes." Jacqueline wonders if Teresa would ever just walk up to Kathy and call a truce. Teresa: "No!"

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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