Real Housewives of New Jersey
Auld Lang Syne for an Eye

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Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
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New Year's Babies

It's 30 seconds to midnight, and Albie's fist pumping, y'all. The clock counts down, and everyone shares hugs and kisses. Well, not everyone, obviously. But the people who aren't assholes. Caroline stands on the sidelines and surveys the scene: Her kids all grown up, her friends Teresa and Juicy going through a troubled time, Jacqueline dealing with a spoiled wench of a daughter, and the ongoing family feud between Teresa and her... everybody. Says Caroline, "They're wasting precious time." Kathy walks over to wish Teresa a happy new year, which Teresa brushes off and turns back to her daughter. As Juicy literally fondles Teresa on the dance floor, Rich says bitterly, "Fuck Teresa. New year, same assholes."

Next week: Kathy thinks it's time to have "the talk" with Victoria. Melissa starts recording. Lauren struggles with body imagine. Bratshley's dad comes on the scene, which only makes her attitude worse. Teresa's kids make a shambles of her cookbook photo shoot.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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