Real Housewives of New Jersey
Belly Up & Up

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Ashley & Teresa: The Same Nasty Person

GIUDICES

Teresa: "It is really hard being scam artists; people are always suing us for fraud."
Attorney: "That is a very tasteful fuchsia chinchilla collar you're wearing. Here is some paperwork showing how you are fraudulent hucksters."
Juicy: "I feel like you're telling me to lie about everything."
Teresa: Lies about everything.
Attorney: "See, when you sign somebody else's name, for example, that's fraud."
Teresa: "People will totally sue you for things like that, even if you admit to your fraud. I guess you can't trust anybody not to sue you for falsifying documents. I guess that's just the kind of world we live in."
Attorney: "Your conspicuous consumption was already damning on its own because you're trash, but now it's going to save you because you can sell all that crap."

Teresa, out of nowhere: "Jewesses are money-hungry prostitutes, generally speaking."

ELSEWHERE

Caroline: "I love to read the newspaper, Jackie, especially when you're talking to me. Here's an article about Teresa and Juicy's fraud, let's discuss it."

Melissa: "Read this newspaper to me, Kathy. You can read, right?"
Kathy: "It says that Teresa and Juicy settled because of all their fraud."
Melissa: "I feel bad about their misfortune, as you can tell from this shit-eating grin on my face."

Caroline: "It's kind of crazy how deluded and corrupt the Giudices are."
Jackie: "I feel like we shouldn't be talking about this. Let's keep talking about it, though."

GODDESS PARTY

Kathy, characteristically: "You feed your body with food."
Melissa: "All this food looks amazing. I can't wait for your seventeen businesses."
Kathy: "Brussels sprouts. Exist."
Melissa: "Kathy makes love to food. I am still confused about sex in lots of ways."
Rich: "You don't need Zen Jen to smudge our house with sage, you need to get a priest in here to exorcise the horror from inside of Teresa."

Melissa: "Is that Holy Water? I think it would kill Teresa if she touched it."
Kathy's Kid: "Yeah, giving Teresa Holy Water is really bitchy. I am a kid and I get this. So what is wrong with you guys?"

Melissa: "On that topic, I think that Teresa thinks that Rich is obsessed with her."
Kathy: "On the list of insane shit that Teresa says, that is pretty low-level."

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9Next

Real Housewives of New Jersey

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP