Oh God, and then who shows up but Caroline, asking why everybody is screaming. But don't worry, she's not lurking like a creeper or anything. She just came by to drop off some baby clothes that Jacqueline left at her place. Teresa is not happy to see her, and says that she feels ambushed. Caroline scowls and wonders aloud why Teresa feels ambushed. And then Jacqueline mentions the In Touch article, and Teresa claims that she didn't put the article out there. She further claims that she doesn't get paid for these articles and Caroline is like, duh, you told us in Chicago that you do. And then of course Caroline gets to her real issue, which is the fact that Teresa "slandered" her in that one article from last week that didn't even have Teresa saying anything bad about her. If anyone needs to get over it, it's clearly Caroline. She also wonders, in a rage-filled type of wondering, why Teresa didn't say anything to her about the article when they were in Chicago. Teresa just wanted everyone to have a nice gay wedding, okay! And then Teresa stands up and her hands are gripping the ends of the table, but I think it's one of those heavy iron outdoor tables and thus beyond even her Hulk-like abilities to flip.
Jacqueline, meanwhile, is once again sad that she can't even be the center of her own argument. Everyone is screaming and Jacqueline tells them to shut the fuck up so she can do some role-playing about how Teresa should have handled discussing the article with Caroline. Teresa quite rightly rolls her eyes. In her words, "Holy shit. Are these bitches really role playing?" She puts out the theory that Jacqueline has lost her mind. Who wouldn't, living amongst these people? Oh God, and then we go back to the cookbook issue. In case you were unclear, Caroline is still mad about FabuliciousGate. And in case you were wondering, Teresa still doesn't think she did anything wrong. Then Teresa and Caroline call each other crazy as Jacqueline looks sad. Caroline brings up the fact that Teresa wants everyone else to hate Melissa and Kathy, and Teresa denies it for a minute but then is too dumb to maintain the façade and asks aloud why Caroline can't see that Melissa is full of shit when everyone else has. Caroline is like, "Checkmate! Good day, sir!" And then she accuses Teresa of never having been her friend. Didn't this already happen, I don't know, like every episode since the end of last season?