Real Housewives of New Jersey
Black As Ink

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Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now!
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Book Undermining

Jacqueline asks how Teresa is feeling about that, and Teresa insists, "They [presumably the Gorga-Wakiles] don't faze me." Jacqueline says she wishes Teresa was at Rich's party the other night and gives Teresa the update. Teresa interviews confidently that Jacqueline and Caroline are "her" friends, then adds to cover her ass that she wouldn't be bothered if they "jump ship." The ladies toast to Punta Cana. Teresa asks if Bratshley's coming. Jacqueline worries the island wouldn't be big enough for the two of them. She brings up Bratshley's failure to follow through with Lauren's T-shirts for that night. She admits the two of them have been tip-toeing around each other since it was decided that Bratz would move out. "Maybe she needs to... be away from you," says Teresa, ever tactful.

That night, Lauren's debut party gets in full swing, and Caroline is a proud mama. Melissa and Joe arrive soon after Teresa and Jacqueline, and Melissa can't resist commenting on Teresa's coat. Kathy smartly remains mum. Jacqueline checks in with Caroline about whether Bratshley came through with the T-shirts. Long story short, she completed the design, but Lauren had to make sure the T-shirt itself was manufactured. Bratz shows up late to the party and beholds her work. She says she's actually proud of it now that she sees it on the shirt because it looks better fully realized. Lauren is not amused. Jacqueline says location has nothing to do with Bratshley's problems because they're self-imposed.

The next day, Teresa takes Audriana and Milania to the grocery stores. Milania immediately starts climbing the walls and generally acting a fool. She's raking tomatoes into bags, thrusting watermelons into Teresa's arms, and demanding they buy a pineapple. Hilariously, she pulls a TV dinner out of the freezer, and Teresa's all, "Put that away! Mommy cooks for you every night!" Uh huh. Then she pulls out some frozen pigs in blankets and offers them up as an alternative. I guess we all have different definitions of "cooking." And Teresa's is somewhere just above mine and below Mrs. Flax in Mermaids. Teresa stops shopping to call Joe and invite him to her latest book signing. He can't resist telling her "better late than never" but promises to be there and support her. She keeps him on the phone while chastising Milania for crawling all over the ready-made food cooler, falling on and smashing salads along the way. Joe eventually thanks her again as a means to get off the damn phone. She hangs up and displays her incredible short-term memory by high-fiving Milania and thanking her for being so good -- even as she is yanking her down from the cooler.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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