Real Housewives of New Jersey
Black As Ink

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now!
Book Undermining

Meanwhile, Melissa and her sisters greet SoulDiggaz at the Gorga mansion and take them down to the recording studio to make some vocal magic. And by "magic," I mean recordings that the producers quickly deem "pitchy," "really poor," and "horrible." Melissa says she's pursuing her music career in order to make her deceased father proud. Insert childhood VHS footage of Melissa doing sexy dancing with some seriously crazy permed hair. Cut to interview of Melissa tearfully saying, "I'm doing it, Daddy!" Melissa eventually warms up and even inspires one of her sisters to do the robot. Now if that's not a testament to the SoulDiggaz' producing prowess... well, then look no farther than two seconds later when both sisters are fist pumping. With pointed fingers! Close-fisted pumping is so 2010.

The next day, Chris, the Manzo boys, and the head of PR for this dubious new company convene for a business meeting with representatives from a Canadian water company, a potential new client. Albie worries that Christopher and his big mouth could be a liability, whereas Christopher thinks Albie needs to "lighten the fuck up." The reps, who are sisters, automatically like the family aspect of the business but wonder about the relatively untested nature of the company. They admit that their product is going to take a little extra skill to sell because it's -- get this -- black water (due to fulvic acid). Caroline laughs in an interview that, with the stigma against Jersey water, that her sons are selling black water. In the end, the push-and-pull of Christopher and Albie's different personalities is seen as an asset for the businesswomen, as is Christopher's experience as a party organizer and can-do attitude.

Elsewhere, Joe Gorga is backpedaling on his promise to go to Teresa's book signing that night. He shares some messages from Juicy accusing her and Melissa of being fake and threatening to break Joe's jaw. Melissa is particularly angry because Teresa has long insisted she was the cause of the rift between the two families. She believes Juicy is the source. Joe adds that Juicy is ultimately hurting Gia since Joe is her much-beloved godfather. (All the while they're having this trash talking session in front of their own kids, mind you.) Melissa thinks the problem stems from jealousy on Juicy and Teresa's part at the Gorgas' work ethic and success. Joe says Juicy and Teresa bring out the worst in him, such as with the christening, and that one day he's going to snap. Wait. The christening wasn't him snapping? Table flipping and fist fights are snapping?

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Real Housewives of New Jersey




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