Real Housewives of New Jersey
Real Housewives of New Jersey

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B- | 525 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Bratz-tervention

Meanwhile, Lauren finds Caroline cleaning out her closet from all of the clothes that don't fit her anymore since she lost weight. The activity inspires Lauren to express her frustration about her weight plateau. Caroline urges her to exercise. Lauren worries that, regardless of her size, she'll never feel good about herself. This sadness makes Caroline cry. She gives Lauren a pep talk to inspire her to realize her beauty is within because only that will allow her to be okay with her body one day.

The next day, Bratshley looks over pictures of her dad and stepmom from the other night. Jacqueline appreciates how much Bratz loves her dad but admits that it hurts sometimes the she doesn't get the same respect. She asks if Bratz if going out that night. The answer, of course, is yes. Jacqueline thinks she dedicates too much of her energy to going out and hopes her dad's influence will be positive. Jacqueline asks what Bratshley's plan for school is, and Bratz says she's looking into moving to California. Jacqueline's all, "On whose dime, missy?" Bratz thinks she'll get out there and get a job, and everything will be copacetic. You know, just like in Burlesque. Bratz says she wants to go somewhere where she can focus on herself. Clearly, she's been deprived of that on the East Coast. Poor thing. She murmurs something about being away from "toxic people." Whatever that means.

Elsewhere, Kathy and Victoria go shopping for formal dresses. And it. Is. Horrible. First there's a ruched bright green number with a clump of simulated flowers in place of a single sleeve. Then there's an iridescent travesty with a mullet hemline. Then there's a one-shoulder brown and blue sequined situation. Then a blue sequined pageant dress with a sheer ass (save for some sequin trails) and a mermaid skirt. No, Victoria. Just no. Kathy thinks Victoria is too young for these sexy dresses, but Victoria's, like, "I'm 17 mooooooom." You remember being that young and thinking you were a fully formed person? Hahahaha. Thems were the days.

Real Housewives of New Jersey

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