Real Housewives of New Jersey

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While a crowd gathers (mostly because the Housewives are blocking the fire exits) Danielle decides to get down in the dirt and play with Teresa. She says something about seeing the house Teresa used to live in, so Teresa snaps back about the five million dollar marble mausoleum she calls home. Danielle lovingly reminds her that the home is in foreclosure. Ah snap! This accusation hits way too close to home (literally and figuratively) for Teresa and she COMPLETELY LOSES HER SHIT. She charges Danielle, who wisely makes a break for it. Teresa chases her through the crowd, shoving stiletto-heeled women to the ground, knocking calming hands away, ignoring soothing words, pushing past Jacqueline who is begging her to stop. Teresa doesn't stop. Danielle, who is probably really, really happy that she sprung for the bodyguard, is hastily escorted out of the building while Teresa is still charging like a bull towards her, shrieking "My house is not in foreclosure! My house is not in foreclosure!" Well-minding women keep trying to stop Teresa and talk some damn sense into her, but Teresa screams at them to stop touching her and get the hell out of her way.

At this point a crowd of bewildered women are milling about trying to figure out whether they should go home or stay and watch the show that came with their dinner. At this point Danielle is hiding in a corner outside while Kim G. either tries to help Danielle calm down or tries to draw attention to Danielle's whereabouts. The bodyguard covers her as she cries in what looks like actual terror. I have to say Danielle is really looking like the victim here and Teresa looks more like a crazy-eyed bully than nice girl. God I hate feeling sorry for Danielle. The heels on Danielle's stiletto S&M boots are broken but she would have needed some Nike trainers to get out of their without breaking something. The bodyguard picks up Danielle to carry the hysterical woman to Kim G.'s car and then out of the blue Ashley runs up and pulls Danielle's hair really hard. Um... WHAT? Is Ashley a closet sociopath? Or is she just really, REALLY stupid? Was the adrenaline just too much for her teenage body to handle? Who the fuck does that? Danielle is full on screaming now and the bodyguard is running to the car.

Suddenly, Teresa appears, much like The Terminator appears out of nowhere from The Future. Danielle starts whipping at the bodyguard to run faster while Teresa does her best Schwarzenegger impression. Once safely in the back of the car Danielle collapses in to Kim G.'s arms. Terminator Teresa will not stop. She approaches the car and tries to outwrangle the driver and the bodyguard. She is somehow surprised that Danielle is crying. Ah, Teresa, the face of post-partum psychosis.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey




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