And then it's Fabellini time! Theresa wears a simple sequined dress with a magenta boa. Juicy offers to hang his nuts out for the photographer. So... this is not a real event. Juicy is clearly wasted already, and yells, "Let me get a Fabellini bottle before I fab yo ass, bitch." Not that I need to tell you this, but that doesn't even make any sense. It turns out this is an intimate party with close friends and family, including Juicy's maybe-twin brother, Pete. But then it seems like it's actually pretty packed. I don't know. Jacqueline tells us she wasn't invited to the Fabellini party. She's okay with that, but also not okay with it. You know Jacqueline, all sensitive and expecting her friends to actually be friends.
There are lots of crazy nutty people at the party, and plenty of vows to get drunk. Teresa tries to replace Juicy's red wine with a glass of Fabellini, but he's having none of it. So supportive! How wonderful to have a partner who will be your champion in every endeavor, and not an embarrassing albatross whose sole benefit seems to be garnering public sympathy. Teresa tells us that she didn't invite Caroline to the party for obvious reasons, and also didn't invite Jacqueline because Jacqueline "hurted" her for no reason. I mean, with the sequencing of events, who knows? But Teresa says that she doesn't hold grudges, but things will never be the same. She adds that you can't stab somebody and try to bring them back to life. They're already dead! Unless it's a zombie who is heading to Franklin Lakes RIGHT NOW to make a light meal of all the Housewives brains. I mean, that's best case scenario and probably more than we dare hope for. But, fingers crossed!
We then cut to a pair of hooker heels meandering down the road. It's DINA MANZO! Yes, THAT Dina Manzo! Before she even gets inside she trips and falls on the carpet, and then the step and repeat signage falls over. Well, that's quite a comeback! Dina, like, kind of broke her ankle. Is it an omen? Whatever. It's so great to have her back! And looking great, mind you.
We then cut to Caroline's Sirius radio show. It turns out that the whole family is going to be on the air with her, talking about raising kids and dealing with siblings and disowning your simian friends. She requests callers, which the Sirius producer promised would be instantly forthcoming. But then there are no calls! She couldn't have arranged at least a couple of ringers? Caroline starts blathering on about being proud of her kids or whatever, and then Al mumbles something meaningless. It turns out that Al and the kids are very terrified, to the point where Caroline is kind of embarrassed of them. Caroline soon takes a break, and in the 90 seconds she has, the producer tells her that calls are not coming in, so she's going to have to ask viewers specific questions related to advice. Caroline is all, "Actually working was not part of the deal." Whoops!