Real Housewives of New Jersey
Drop Dead Gorgas

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Restitution Whores

Kathy, getting hardcore, drawing a line, taking names: "Honestly, if I see her at the fashion show... We'll see how it goes."

Kim G: "I can only get off if somebody's pissing on me."
Kathy & Melissa: "Uh, what's that?"
Kim G: "I said this is better than Pirates Of Penzance."

BROWNSTONE

Caroline: "[Some portentous pronouncement about nothing whatsoever.] You work so, so much."
Her Gay Husband: "Whatever it takes to stay away from you as much as possible."
Caroline: "I can't help thinking that my husband's total disinterest in me is related directly to all of my kids leaving the nest."
Lauren: "Dude, I'm right here."
Caroline: "Ah, you know what I mean."

PRE-SHOW PRE-HEAT

Jacqueline & Teresa: "Let's drink champagne and have an awkwardly fake conversation about the Posche 'fashion' show."
Jacqueline: "Being a model is hard."
Teresa: "We are all fashion models in real life. I honestly believe this."
Jacqueline: "So, you're going to start shit with Melissa tonight, right?"
Teresa: "I am really looking forward to saying Hi and being passive-aggressive and tabula rasa about the whole thing. That drives motherfuckers crazy."
Jacqueline: Has noticed this pattern. Will be bringing popcorn. Is the only normal person, or at least the Andy Cohen, of this entire show.

Kathy: "Are you going to start shit with Teresa tonight?"
Melissa: "Yeah. She won't leave me alone! Or stop attacking my kids!"
Kathy: "Demonstrably untrue, but I appreciate the dedication to your reasoning."

Teresa: "Maybe some of the burden of me acting human rests on Melissa."
Jacqueline: "I don't really think that's how it works, but okay."

Kathy, getting real on your ass: "Large groups of people mean... There are lots of people around. The motherly instinct... It just means safety. And also children."
Melissa: "She just better not start with me until I start with her."
Kathy: "Well, I'm certainly going to start some shit with her. I just don't want her going on the offensive like we're starting shit with her."
Melissa: "As long as it doesn't look like we're starting shit with her, because we're not, but we are totally going to start some shit with her, like, immediately."
Kathy: "Even though we are, exactly. I mean we're not. Shit... Starting."

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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