Cut to the pool party! It turns out this is a Wakile family tradition, as a celebration of the end of the school year. Except Victoria and Joseph have no friends this year, probably because their mom and her crazy family are screaming at each other weekly on Bravo. Oh, wait! Ha! Richie told the kids not to actually invite anyone once he learned that Teresa was coming. He thinks it's social suicide for them to acknowledge being related to Teresa and Juicy, which is probably a good call. Caroline and Jacqueline are both unable to come, which Kathy is mad about. She made POTATO SALAD, everyone. Make a fucking effort. Jacqueline claimed that she couldn't get a babysitter, which begs the question of why she didn't just bring the kids. But really she's at home being a wreck about Ashley(e). She Skypes with Mary, her sister-in-law who is serving as tough love mentor to Ashley(e). Jacqueline claims to miss Ashley(e), and Ashley(e) calls bullshit. I guess Ashley(e) is maybe doing better? I mean, who cares, even. She still manages to be insufferable, even in small doses. After her stint in Vegas, Ashley(e) is going to visit her dad, and then come home UGH. I hope her visit with her dad is an extended one. Between Caroline's hot flashes and the Gorga/Giudice feud, I have about all I can handle.
Joe and Melissa and their kids head over to the pool party, and Melissa laments the fact that hanging with her in-laws is such a horrible experience. They arrive just in time to see Rosie presiding over some races in the pool. Kathy apologizes for the empty party, while Richie smiles. At least someone has a sense of propriety in this family. Teresa and her girls finally arrive, and everyone starts to get nervous. Someone is going to be floating in the pool by the time this party is over. Melissa tells us that she cannot fucking stand Teresa, but whenever she sees her with her kids a tiny little soft spot opens up. I imagine it's, like, the size of a corn on your baby toe. Probably as soft, actually.
Oh God, and then Rosie asks Teresa what she wants to drink, and Teresa asks what they have, and Rosie says everything, and Teresa asks for a margarita, and Rosie says that she's not making any damn frozen drinks, and then Melissa pipes in with the fact that she's drinking sangria because she's not high maintenance, and we are reminded again that they ALL ARE THE WORST. Except for Rosie, who does a belly flop right off the diving board and scares the kids out of the pool. If only she could belly flop right in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner and ease the inevitable tension there, too. She should have tried it at the christening.