Real Housewives of New Jersey

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Fun with Meat

Meat fight at Caroline's house! No, really. Her above average children are all chucking cold cuts at each other's heads. Chris is wearing a "Girls Don't Poop" shirt to add to the general level of class. Oh wait! Caroline explains that this "Ham Game" is a regular family activity around her house. Not that she approves. In fact, she points her finger in Chris's face and barks, "No!" But she didn't whack him on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper, so she wasn't really serious. Thus, despite Caroline's fervent dislike of meat slinging, the Ham Game is clearly in her house to stay. On to the next topic of discussion: Lauren dating Albie's purported best friend, a hunk of ham named Vinnie. Albie can't believe Vinnie would put hos before bros, even if that ho is his sister. Hey, wait, who you calling a ho? Shut up, man! That's my sister!

Jacqueline has her hands full with her new baby boy and her teenage daughter Ashley and that other kid who wanders in on occasion from the treehouse where they keep him. When Ashley comes over to drop off some laundry and admits that she misses her parents, Jacqueline asks why she left. Ashley swears that she loves her parents, but she just needed her freedom to go out to clubs and have sex with the walking hair gel she brought over last week. Jacqueline takes the opportunity to get all Good Mom on her ass, demanding to know if she is safe, whether there is a designated driver in the car, whether she is being responsible. Ashley wanders off mid-conversation to get her cell phone. Jacqueline doesn't appreciate the interruption to the MADD speech she memorized, because now she's going to have start at the beginning. Ashley shrugs and makes use of her "freedom" to leave. Let Freedom ring, yo. You know, Jacqueline is a really good mom and seems like a very decent person, and I wonder if Caroline used her strong arms to make her sign up for this show. It really does seem like she wandered in off the street and should really be at Mommy and Me playgroups instead of putting up with the harpies.

Danielle has good news for her daughter: IMG Model Management wants Christine to model. Christine shrugs, but IMG scouted her off the street and now she has a rep. Danielle is thrilled that she gets to live vicariously through her daughter. She sizes up Jillian and thinks if Christine screws this up, Jillian might have a shot at it.

Jacqueline meets Dina at the baby store to try and pick out a gender-neutral present for Teresa's baby. I know these two are sisters-in-law, but they seemingly have no knowledge of each other's lives. Dina doesn't even know that Ashley moved out of Jacqueline's house for her Freedom. Dina suggests smacking her around, but haha totally joking. Does Grandma Wrinkles need to be removed to a safe home?

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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