Real Housewives of New Jersey
Gym Rats

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: C | 8 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
I Work Out... Sorta

Previously: We learned all about hairy grille's, beefusses, bffl's and how not to behave at a party for children. The party argument was almost entirely based on the days of the week.

At the Gorga abode, Melissa is making pancakes for her husband, who now seems to be able to eat food without crapping it all out. It's lovely that we've learned so much about Joe's bowel movements this season. It's like we're finally getting to know him. He asks how things went with his sister the night before, pretending like Melissa didn't come home and yell about it for a while. She explains that Teresa and Kim D. were all over her shit for not going to visit Nono in the hospital. Melissa says that it was like Kim D. was prompted to bring this subject up to put her on the spot. Gee, ya think? She didn't care for the fact that she was put on the spot, as she really needed to process when she actually went to the hospital because that's not just a fact you can easily remember or anything.

Over at the Giudice home, Joe and Teresa are also having the same breakfast conversation saying that Melissa should have gotten her ass to the hospital to see Nono the morning after he went in, regardless how disease-ridden her household was, as a sign of respect. I just think maybe Melissa could learn to use Foursquare or something to have proof that she "checked in." Teresa claims she would run to visit her father-in-law the hospital if the situations were reversed, but given the fact that we've previously watched her struggle through a 5K, I'm thinking by "run" she means hop in her expensive car and drive there. Then Joe does his amazing impression of how flighty Melissa acts.

Melissa digs herself into a hole by not being able to count. She says he went in on the wee hours on Sunday. She was "swallowing glass" (a.k.a. had a tickle in her throat) on Monday and Tuesday and then went for a visit on Wednesday. So yeah, that's four days, not the two days that she claims.

Joe Giudice makes the most terrifying Count from Sesame Street impression as he figures out the four-day rule and says that's definitely not the next day. It's hard to argue with him when he's using his fingers to do math. Teresa says that she hates Melissa playing the victim.

Cut to Melissa talking about how she actually lost a father, so Teresa doesn't deserve sympathy. We also see Joe Gorga staring at pancakes and unable to process math, completely backing his wife up. Melissa suggests that Teresa is bipolar. And mimics her high-pitched squeak (pretty accurately). And then it all comes down to the fact that Melissa left before cake. Rude.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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