Shore. Wearing her cowboy hat, Teresa sits down with Joe and he's immediately like, "I read the In Touch magazine..." and Teresa backfires in Italian, "Don't say anything, don't go there. Don't say anything." He's all, "I'm your brother no matter what." She talks about the week Juicy went "away" (to jail, the subtitles tell us), and expresses frustration that Joe wasn't there for her during that time. Joe points out that every time he reaches out to Teresa, she freaks out. She counters by... mildly freaking out. He THs that Teresa is in serious denial. The conversation continues to be uncomfortable, and there's more of the "let's be honest and nice to each other" that we all know isn't going to happen. He brings up the evil, "If there was a richer guy..." quote and it's obvious that nothing is going to get done because Teresa loves running her mouth and cannot apologize for shit.
Ashley is on her cell, giggling with a friend and looking like Ke$ha. Chris is calls her down for a talk, and I cannot even look at her face right now. He's shipping her off to live with her aunt and uncle... in Vegas... tomorrow. Ashley is like, "Dad, are you kidding me?" She's against this plan, citing the fact that she has "plans with friends who are home from school" and Chris is like, "This is exactly what I'm talking about, you have no priorities." Jacqueline is staying far away from this, Ashley says she's gonna throw up, Chris tells her she has to go and then she agrees to leave. Yay, I guess.
This season: Kathy's son is a pervert, just like his dad. Melissa squeezes Teresa's boobs. The Manzo bros buy a car. Joe dances with another dude, with his shit unbuttoned. Lauren tries to lose weight. Melissa sings more. Gia cries. Gay wedding. Caroline in a hat. Juicy talkin' smack. The Golden Gate Bridge is actually orange. Napa. More Teresa bashing. More Teresa being an idiot. Caroline and Jacqueline really hating Teresa. The return of either Kim G. or Kim D. (I seriously can't tell, there's a lot of hair extensions!) Melissa and Teresa fighting while wearing traditional Indian-style jewels in their middle in between their brows. Some creep Teresa used to dance for? Everyone calling everyone else crazy. DINA! COME BACK, DINA!