Real Housewives of New Jersey
Holidazed and Confused

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Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
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A Very Guido Christmas

The next day, Jacqueline strategically plans to get smaller glasses for her guests (specifically Teresa and Joe) so that no table flipping or banging occurs at her party because "one day [the tables] are going to fight back." And she doesn't want that day to be her party.

Back in Hoboken, Caroline and Lauren bring decorations to the boys' apartment. Caroline immediately notices that the feather tree has been haphazardly thrown on the floor. Albie says that he wanted a real tree because this feather situation must be a sign of the apocalypse. Nonetheless, it goes up. Lacking glitter to write the guys' names on their stockings, Lauren decides to use crushed red pepper and oregano to infuse the Italian spirit into the holiday. Caroline deems it "a very Guido Christmas." As they decorate, Greg says his New Year's resolution is to stop stressing over everything and chill out. He suggests they take a trip and invites Lauren to come along, but she pouts at this blatant afterthought of inclusion since her little breakdown the other night. Apparently, they didn't invite her to dinner with friends the other night, and she's sore about it. Albie tells her she has a key, so she can let herself in. Caroline tries to squash the pity party Lauren's throwing by telling her that life changes, as will her relationship with her brothers. Greg kvetches, "Christmas decorating is exhausting."

Back in Franklin Lakes, Jacqueline visits Kim G.'s house, even though Teresa probably wouldn't approve. Jacqueline insists she's her own person and makes her own decisions. As they walk around, Kim G. pulls out the drama, by saying she didn't get to decorate the house properly because she developed a brain tumor while she was building the house. Cue tears. Kim G. makes a pointed reference that some people don't know this side of her, meaning Teresa. Jacqueline wants to stay out of it, though she say that she doesn't think Teresa has any beef with Kim G., she just likes to -- and I quote -- "talk about her [old lady] butt crack." Cut to a flashback of Kim G. at the strip club with Danielle last year. Ha.

The ladies sit down, and Kim pulls out her Blackberry to gossip about Juicy's trial with his business partner. Jacqueline doesn't want to hear it because it's none of her business and tells Kim to tell her friend to "shut the fuck up." Kim refuses and keeps barreling through the news until Jacqueline literally screams at her to stop talking. Whereas Jacqueline subscribes to the idea that you're friends with someone through thick and thin and do everything you can to help her be better as a person, Kim pretty much just wants to talk shit about Teresa's spending habits. At which point Jacqueline actually starts leafing through a magazine, all the while cursing herself for dropping by.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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