Real Housewives of New Jersey
Hot Tub of Sour Grapes

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Toast and Jam

And then, generating a big "oh no!" out of me, Teresa approaches Caroline and the other women. Jacqueline notes that they could hear everything Teresa said, and then Teresa asks Caroline if she feels any differently. Caroline says, and I quote: "Yes I do. Yes I do. I can't even look at you." Sometimes I truly think that she's the worst one of all. Teresa says that she would love to be friends again, and also has said sorry to Caroline for whatever offense it was that she committed. Caroline's problem is that the apology was not genuine, and thus is an insult. Teresa says that she is not insulting Caroline, and Caroline replies, "You're telling me how to feel now?" Aaaaaaaand here we go. Teresa says that the Manzos mean a lot to her and Juicy, and Caroline tells her to stop it AND to speak aloud what she really thinks of Caroline. She then says, "You don't love me," making us all question who's telling whom how to feel. Teresa counters that she does, in fact, love Caroline. I think she has a pretty strong case for reversing that position, though.

Caroline claims that if Teresa had said that she hated her, the conversation could have ended peacefully then and there. But instead, Teresa kept continuing to say kind things, and that was just too much for Caroline "Rules" Manzo. She's ready to throw down. Oh God, and then they start talking about the tabloid articles again. Teresa is as fed up with this subject as we are. Not only is Teresa saying nasty things about the rest of them, Caroline says, but she made some sort of seven-cover deal. Teresa denies it and says that she put the truth out about her family, and then Caroline says that she's lying, and Teresa says she's not lying, and Caroline says she's lying, and Teresa says she's not lying, and it's all very much like a circle in a circle, like a wheel within a wheel. The windmills of these particular minds have a lot of space in which to blow, at least. Caroline says that Teresa is a disgrace, which I think is true for a whole host of reasons that have nothing to do with tabloid articles.

Back at the men's table, Juicy says that tabloids run bullshit, and the Giudices make the money. Chris confirms that they get paid to do the articles. Juicy says that they don't get paid for every one, but that they have some sort of exclusive deal with In Touch. Chris then questions Juicy about a cover story from In Touch that claimed Teresa was going to have a baby boy -- a story that is obviously false. Juicy wants to know what's so bad about the article, and Chris is like, "You put that article out there." Juicy yells that In Touch came to them. Chris counters that they put the story out, and Juicy yells, "So what?" I think that's his life's philosophy in two words. Chris tells us that Teresa puts these stories out because she wants the attention and wants to be a star, and also because she's getting paid. He's fine with her making money, but not that she's blaming someone else for all the bullcrap that goes along with it. Juicy notes that it's not his fault that Teresa sells more magazines than any star out there. Is that true? Oh, don't start making me feel concerned about humanity again. I am too weary! It is very late on a Sunday night! Juicy says that everyone else would do the same thing if they had the opportunity, and Chris counters that Jacqueline was recently offered $50,000 to write a story about Teresa and wouldn't do it. Juicy thinks she was a moron not to, and I kind of have to agree.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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