Real Housewives of New Jersey
Hot Tub of Sour Grapes

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Toast and Jam

Meanwhile, in the shadow of the men's orgy, Caroline and Teresa are still at it. Teresa notes that she's had a really tough year, which is legit, and Caroline mutters, "Always the victim." Teresa is like, "Fine, let's leave things the way they are," which means that Caroline can hate her all she wants. Caroline is fine with this arrangement and actually says, "I love it like this. Because at least I can look at you and tell you suck." Wow, the level of discourse here keeps elevating. Teresa also thinks that Caroline sucks. At this point, Melissa wonders how Jacqueline can sleep through this. Teresa notes that she's not really asleep, she just doesn't want to be involved. Caroline says she's pretending because Teresa told her to stay out of it. Teresa then counters that she said no such thing, and Caroline tells her to take off the mask, but the fact is that at this point it's a tattoo so no one can do anything about it. Accept the things you cannot change, etc.

We get a glimmer of hope for the remaining half of the episode when Teresa stands up to leave, but then Caroline mumbles that she's running away and Teresa turns right around and sits back down. This allows Caroline to say that she doesn't want Teresa there. Awesome. Teresa then brings Juicy into it, asking him if she intentionally meant to hurt Caroline. And then Caroline yells that Teresa put thoughts into Juicy's head. Juicy, with his big cigar, yells, "Caroline!" This most certainly gets the attention of the Manzo men, who are readying themselves to intervene if necessary. Juicy yells that Teresa put a photo of Caroline next to her in her best-selling book, and so what about the whole thing. He ends with a concise, "End it!" Chris asks who's not ending it, and Juicy says correctly that Caroline's not ending it. But then Chris says that she's not the one pallin' around with tabloids, and the Manzos agree that Teresa's cookbook joke was not funny. Juicy is, of course, wasted, and Caroline tells us that she's worried, because the way Albert operates is that he sits on the sidelines and is quiet, but when he gets up it's lights out. Oh man, and then Albert mentions how Teresa said in her book that Caroline's cooking is the reason that her family is fat. THAT part, I did not realize. And then there's something about a meatball contest? I don't even know anymore. Eventually, the men agree to let the girls do what girls do, and they'll move on. Too bad, because I kind of wanted to see Albert "Silent Killer" Manzo throw down.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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