Real Housewives of New Jersey
Hot Tub of Sour Grapes

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Toast and Jam

And now back to the ladies. Lauren has to get involved and talk about how Teresa called them 1/16 Italian, which is apparently not true. Then Caroline tells us some nonsense about how Teresa has an off-the-boat mentality, and looks down on everybody, and it's kill or be killed. Is that not a LITTLE dramatic? Caroline, in contrast, is an AMERICAN citizen. And American citizens are so much more civilized! As Lauren goes on and on, Jacqueline wakes up to say that there's healthy purging and non-healthy purging. Then she goes back to fake-sleep. Lauren goes on some more about the tabloids, and Caroline continues to try to get Teresa to admit that she sells stories. Teresa swears on her kids that she's not lying, and Caroline tells her not to swear on her kids, and then Teresa kind of chucks Kathy under the chin to get her to pay attention and recognize that she's swearing on her kids. Kathy, probably afraid that Teresa is going to flip her head like a table, tells Teresa not to put her hands on her. This of course piques Richie's interest. We go to a break, and then get a little featurette about how all of the men want to have gay sex with Vito, in which Juicy notes that he's the best thing to happen to the Manzo family.

Oh God, and then the arguing just keeps happening, with Kathy still peeved that Teresa grabbed her face. I mean, in fairness, Teresa didn't clock her. But she agrees to keep her hands to herself. And then we get to rue the invention of wireless technology as Kathy gets out her phone and pulls up some sort of tabloid story in which Teresa claimed that the others were always taking digs at her about her financial situation, including asking her how many times she's been to the mall in a week. Kathy points out that it was Richie and not her who said that, and Caroline yells that it was a joke. I think the problem here, in addition to everyone having a differing concept of "friendship," is that everyone has a different concept of what constitutes a "joke," at least when it comes to themselves. Then there is some arguing about Richie, and eventually Teresa agrees that she will make no public comments about Kathy or Melissa. Note that she does not include Caroline in this pledge.

One of the men eventually asks Juicy to get Teresa out of there, and he approaches her to say that he changed their flights and they are going to leave tomorrow since Juicy has some "business" to take care of. Teresa then starts squealing like a maniac, and runs out of the room. Once she's gone, Lauren calls her a piece of shit. From her room, Teresa wants the bitches to bring it. Articles, articles, articles. In the words of Juicy Giudice, "So what?" Melissa asks Kathy why she even talked to Teresa, and Kathy makes some stuff up about how she didn't want Teresa to feel like everyone is against her. Anyway, kudos to Melissa and Jacqueline for staying out of this shitshow.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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