Real Housewives of New Jersey
If This RV Is a Rockin'

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The Not So Great Outdoors

The two Joes then go off to pee on a bush together, and have some sort of a weird bonding moment that ends up with fellatio and a hug. Whatever works! Melissa tells Kathy that having the Gorgas and Giudices share an RV was the best thing that could have happened. They're getting along and having fun and other things that won't last very long.

Back at Casini Ranch, Caroline asks Jacqueline how things are with her and Teresa. Coincidentally, Teresa is also talking to her clan about her relationship with Jacqueline! They listen politely, but basically everyone except Teresa thinks that Teresa was kind of a d-bag to Jacqueline but won't admit it. Teresa says that she's going to try to talk it out with Jacqueline. I'm sure that will go great. In other news, I guess Teresa's ankle is fine.

After dinner, Teresa awkwardly asks Jacqueline to come and help her with dessert. Everyone knows that she just wants to have a talk. Teresa says that she's been having fun on the trip, but wants to know where they go from here. She's still hurt from what Jacqueline did to her. And of course Jacqueline is hurt too. But, Teresa says, she did nothing to Jacqueline (I guess being a shitty friend for eternity doesn't count), whereas Jacqueline ambushed her. Jacqueline tells Teresa that she didn't mean for it to be an ambush, but she was worried about her and Teresa never talked to her about anything of substance. Their fundamental difference centers around the fact that Jacqueline views friends as people who share things with one another, while Teresa views friends as people who don't pry into one another's business. Jacqueline also points out that at one time Teresa wanted her to go after Melissa. Teresa notes that Jacqueline didn't do that, and eventually she (Teresa) got over it. Meanwhile, Vito wonders where dessert is, and Kathy and Caroline wonder how they can get in on the drama that is obviously happening inside the RV.

Jacqueline tells Teresa that she wants a friendship that's real and not fake. Teresa says that she's never been fake, and Jacqueline counters that she's always been fake. Or, I would argue, just dumb. Teresa says that she's always cared about Jacqueline, and a peeved Jacqueline says that she's just not going to inquire about Teresa's well-being anymore. Oh good, that's settled then. Teresa says that if Jacqueline only wants a superficial friendship, that they should just go their separate ways after this trip. And then Jacqueline starts crying. This would be the perfect time for the demented lunatic of the woods to kill everyone outside very quietly, and for Teresa and Jacqueline to emerge from the RV, apple pie in hand, to find only bloody carnage! But alas, it does not happen. Jacqueline continues to cry, and then Teresa manages to squeeze out like half a tear. Somehow they get to the point where they say they want to be friends again, and then they hug. They go back outside, and Caroline tells us that Jacqueline is going to get hurt and she can't do anything about it. I wish everyone would get hurt by a demented lunatic of the woods. Maybe next week?

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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