The Giudices arrive. Teresa takes in the scene and notes smugly that her christening had 200 people. The Joes eye each other warily as Teresa admits that her husband doesn't really like going to these family events but does it for her. The first olive branch is snapped when CMJ offers BJ a shot, and BJ declines. CMJ calls BJ an asshole and a "fucking midget," and Melissa takes his rebuff as a personal affront. Because what would Jesus do? Shots!

Meanwhile, Lysa is sipping on her drink and lapping this shit up. She says again, loadedly and gleefully, "This should be interesting. Everybody in one room." Teresa gives us a little back-story that she called Lysa a few months ago to explain the friction between herself and Melissa. According to Teresa, Lysa agreed that Melissa can be "a cold bitch."

Teresa runs into Kathy, who immediately notices that Teresa is edgy. Teresa explains that Kathy was like a big sister to her until a couple of years ago because Rich gave her a hard time about her overspending. Despite the fact that he was 100% right (my opinion), Teresa took offense that Kathy never told him to back off.

Manzo manse. The Lauritas and Lauren's boyfriend Vito arrive. Caroline uses Jacqueline's eight-year-old son as an excuse to moan about how her boys are moving out of the house. She says all she has left is Lauren until Vito makes a move. "And when is that going to happen?" Vito pleads the fifth but does admit that he sees a glow when he looks at Lauren. In fact, the day before, he posted a picture of Lauren smiling and Tweeted, "This is the reason I get up and go to work every day." Chris snarks that it was really because Lauren was annoying the shit out of Vito, so he wanted to escape. The ladies tactfully ignore that dig and get onto the wedding porn. Lauren says she wants a huge wedding on the Amalfi Coast. Caroline jokes, "I didn't know we had a room called the Amalfi Coast at The Brownstone." Laughs Lauren, "I guess we'll have to paint a mural."