Real Housewives of New Jersey
It’s My Party and I’ll Fight If I Want To

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | 3 USERS: B-
The Hairy Grille of Life

We're then at the Wakiles, where Joseph and Victoria head out on their own to see Nono. Kathy and Richie can't go themselves, since Kathy called Nono a coward on the reunion show. Kathy knows it was a mistake and has apologized for it, and Richie thinks she should go visit for five minutes and tell Nono that she loves him. She gets all upset at the notion that he might die, and we learn that Richie really wants her to go just so she can tell Teresa to fuck off. Interesting strategy!

Melissa drives her kids to Gia's party, and gets a call from Jacqueline. They talk about how terrible their respective relationships with Teresa are as the kids sit quietly and listen. Melissa mutters that this is stupid and wonders why she's going, which I'm sure the kids appreciate as well. At the party, Teresa heads into the adult room, and who has crawled up from her crypt to join the festivities but Kim D. Melissa shows up too, and Antonia and Milania instantly hug. All the kids are happy to see one another, just as Teresa is happy to see her minions /ugly stepsisters Kim D. and Linda so she can complain about how Melissa waited four days to go see Nono in the hospital. Just as Kim D. and Linda are complaining about what a bitch Melissa is, she walks into the adult room. She exchanges fake pleasantries before rushing to the bar.

With drink in hand, Melissa tells the threesome, who now more or less resemble the witches from MacBeth, how Joe had to be rushed to the hospital with his 104 degree fever. And yes, in answer to your question, it in fact WAS the same hospital where Nono was admitted. Did Melissa go and see Nono, asks Kim D.? Yes she sure did, says Melissa. I heard you were at the gym the other day, says Kim D. Can she give it a rest for one minute? God. Melissa tells us that it's her gym, and she invited Kathy and Jacqueline to a class, and anyone who doesn't like it can go scratch their hairy grille. Kim D.'s coke brain then can't manage to specify if she's jumping on Melissa for not actually going to see her father in law, or for being at the gym. Either way, Melissa is through. She argues that her hospital visit schedule is nobody's business, not even Teresa's. Teresa disagrees. She calls Melissa out on her claim that she went to see Nono the day after he was admitted to the hospital, and Melissa plays a game where she thought Tuesday was Saturday. Or something. Eventually, she admits that Teresa is right. But, she says, she spent the whole day at the hospital, whenever it was that she went. And then in an interview, she tells us that Joe took his dad to the hospital on a Saturday, she had a bad sore throat Monday and Tuesday, and finally went to see Nono on Wednesday, when her throat felt better. In her book, that's not four days, she says. In fact, one could argue that it was five days. So there. A more effective argument may have been for her to look at Teresa quizzically and exclaim, "What? Beefusses?" Anyway, who the fuck cares? Not me! Melissa is ready to take her kids home, and Teresa is all, "You're going to leave before cake?" I mean, it's such a welcoming environment after all! Gia pops in so she can vocally hate her life some more, and then everyone goes to get a slice of the hairy grille.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey




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