And hey! It's Matt Lauer interviewing Governor Chris Christie! That's how we know this is SERIOUS. And so we see some home movie and animated footage of the caravan to Pittsburgh. What did the fair city of my birth do to deserve this cretinous influx? En route, the Gorgas and Giudices talk about listening to each others' sex noises. Jacqueline, meanwhile, talks from the airport about how they're all going to hug and kiss when they finally meet. And really, it is so disconcerting to see these jerks at an airport that I've been to at least one million times. I hope the proper authorities set off some sort of sanitizing bomb. The Gorga and Giudice car is running way behind the others, likely because they make so many stops to order Egg McMuffins and film each other peeing on rocks alongside the road. Sadly, they do not miss their flight, and soon enough the whole group is in Houston. Melissa is very confused about the concept and reality of time zones, and the whole group is overtired. Can you imagine being on a flight with this crew? Worse than having an entire preschool class in the rows directly behind you.

After a break, everyone finally arrives in San Francisco. On the shuttle bus, Caroline starts mocking everyone's attire, and Teresa says that at least her giant heels are "Aztec-y." She thinks they're going to somewhere affiliated with Native Americans, just because they're in the westernmost part of the country. Yeah. Then there's a lengthy conversation about how cows have sex. And then everyone watches a video of cows having sex and there is a whole lot of screaming. And, okay, they have a point. [That is maybe NSFW, depending on your workplace policy on cow needle-dick.]