Oh no, and then just when we thought we were safe we have more Ashley(e). She's not out of the state yet, which makes me nervous. En route to the airport, Ashley(e) regales Albie with tales of how she once drank a bottle of Nyquil with a straw. Albie explains that Ashley(e) thinks she's Ke$ha. He feels maybe a little bad for her, but not bad enough to actually walk her inside the airport. And you know, I'm not a parent. But I still have to wonder if Vegas is precisely the right place to send your troubled 20-year old. It's like, things aren't going so well for her, might as well just give her a nudge in the direction of prostitution so she can at least make a living.
Ugh, and then we move on to Gorgaville. Joe has an "office," and Melissa has brought him some photos to put up on the wall. The family takes a walk outside, and Melissa and Joe regale Gino with tales of how he can someday be a slumlord too! The kid's got it made. Oh, FYI, Melissa is still totally pissed about how Teresa said that she would leave Joe for a richer man and is a golddigger and also can't cook. And FYI TMI, Joe points with two fingers to his junk in an interview, giant shocker. I don't even know why. I guess at some point in the near future Joe is going to own a whole crappy block, and maybe someday the kids can inherit that too. It's a uniquely American story! God bless the USA, etc.
And then, in yet another shocker, Albie pulls over on the side of the road to take a call from Ashley(e), who has missed her flight. We all knew it was too good to be true, didn't we? Albie calls Chris Manzo the Elder, who is unsurprised and a little disgusted, and they talk about what an idiot Ashley(e) is. Jacqueline gets the news in person from Albie as she's making meatballs, and doesn't seem too upset about it because this is all obviously staged. Albie does read some hilarious live-tweeting from Ashley(e), who apparently got lost in the airport while looking for Dunkin Donuts. All sorts of guests arrive for Jacqueline's meatball party, and Lauren is sad that she can only drink egg yolks. Melissa Gorga is such a bitch too, like, "Ooooh, look at all the cheese here!" Wait, but Lauren is drinking wine, though! This diet can't be all that restrictive. The Wakiles arrive followed by, you guessed it, Ashley(e). Chris interviews that trying to help Ashley(e) is a fucking waste of time, and that he and Jacqueline are at the end of their respective ropes. He plans on taking her to the airport and making sure she gets on the plane. Thank goodness poor Albie gets a reprieve, at least.