Danielle finally arrives with a bohunk of a bodyguard who has pinkysworn not to call anyone a faggot like Jailbird Danny. Danielle and Kim D. sit down and immediately notice that Kim G. has both Jacqueline and Teresa at her table. Danielle assumes this was an attempt at treachery by Teresa and Jacqueline, not a shot at fame for Kim G. Danielle can't stand the rude! Other Danielle might have to come out! You wouldn't like Other Danielle!
Caroline and Albert are missing the excitement because it is Date Night. A sacred event in the Manzo household. Albert wants Caroline to know that her moodiness has been noted and he will make an effort to work ten hours a day instead of twelve. Will that shut her up already? Caroline smiles appreciatively.
Back at the North Jersey Country Club, the fashion show gets underway. Danielle is making her opinion known by not clapping and pretending she's on the phone. She learned it from Paris Hilton! Oh Danielle, even you must realize that when you are taking etiquette tips from Paris Hilton you have reached a new low. When Danielle sees Ashley in the show, she knows that this is war. Then Ashley waves at her and Danielle glowers and rallies her troops. Everyone compares the situation to high school, which apparently they all missed because they continue acting like a bunch of hormonally-ravaged teenage girls. Teresa takes things to the next level by staking out the hallway and waiting for Danielle. When Jacqueline asks her why she would possibly think this would be a good idea, Teresa thinks it was all "too high school" and thought it was FAR more mature to lay in wait for Danielle and bait her into a fight. So Teresa sits in her chinchilla coat and shouts hello at Danielle as she walks by. Danielle gives her a well-deserved "WTF?" look and Teresa responds with a "What? You won't say hi?" And then the fun starts. But we don't get to see the fun. We have had too much fun this episode. Bravo is cutting us off for our own good. We can't handle any more fun! So the fun starts next week. Sigh.
Melissa Locker a.k.a. Lulu Bates is putting her law degree to great use and getting a restraining order to prevent further Diet Coke abuse. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.