Teresa starts asking all sorts of questions about Danielle's hair in the video, because that is what everyone looks at in a sex tape, and then harping on the fact that she read somewhere that Danielle made the video recently. After Danielle reiterates several times that it was years ago, but Teresa is still talking because she needs some attention now please, Danielle gets snappish. So Teresa calls her bitch a few times, but you can tell her heart's not really in it anymore. Then Andy asks what Danielle's daughters think of the sex tape. Oh come on, Andy, even Danielle wouldn't let her daughters watch her sex tape! Danielle takes it one step further and claims her daughters never watch the show except for one or two episodes they star in. Um that seems extremely unlikely. Caroline decides to take up this particular argument and beat it into the ground until Danielle calls uncle. Andy keeps harping on how hurtful this must be for Danielle's daughters, but Danielle won't really admit it, which is kind of sad because there is no doubt those girls need help.
Since we know there is a Part Two, and this is Bravo, we know that they are going to tease us with some incredibly awesome fighty drama and then cut us off, so BRACE YOURSELF. We head straight to The Brownstone. Danielle and Kim G. make their entrance at the poor little baby's benefit and start making a ruckus about their lack of adequate seating. Andy says that the father of the little girl was upset because Danielle didn't actually give any money to the charity. Danielle tries to explain that it was all a big mix up, but Caroline just starts blurting LIE! LIE! LIE! and calls Danielle out for her complete bullshit. But ...then they pull the plug. Come back next time when Danielle and Caroline THROW DOWN. Also, Kim G. So much excitement! How will you sleep all week?
Melissa Locker a.k.a. Lulu Bates is seriously considering moving further away from New Jersey. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.
Watch a preview of second part of the RHONJ reunion here: