Having milked Teresa and Kathy's relationship, Andy moves on to a discussion (and video clip) of Teresa and Melissa's relationship: Hair dresser stealing! Sprinkle cookies! Bikini-offs! A viewer accuses Melissa of swagger jacking Teresa. Teresa agrees, but refuses to get into "pacifics." Melissa says it goes both ways. Kathy and Caroline both pretty much tell everyone to grow the eff up. A viewer wonders if it was a bad omen that Joe went through two fiancées before her. Melissa says he broke it off with the other women because they couldn't get along with his family. Teresa insists she embraced Melissa when they met. Melissa thinks they could only get along on Teresa's terms. At which point Teresa insults Melissa's wedding as too "American" (read: cheap and tacky) and basically says the only way she got taste was by copying Teresa's style. Teresa insists, "It has to do with taste." So she's tacky if she doesn't copy you, yet she also is a copycat if she does things if in a way that you approve? Just so we're clear... What's Italian for "Catch-22"? Melissa tells her, "You're turning evil. Stop it. Get a hold of yourself."
Andy posits a viewer question: What is Teresa's biggest regret for something she said about Melissa on the show? Teresa is on message, though, and she immediately starts on a discussion of how many horrible things Melissa said. Andy: "No. Things you said." Teresa claims she didn't understand and starts to think. Melissa immediately points to when Teresa called Melissa a gold-digger. Teresa's all, "Hmmmm... what else?" Melissa: "Oh, so you regret that one? Well, luckily I have a list of insults right here on my phone!" She didn't actually say that last part, but she literally whips out her phone and starts rattling off the most egregious of Teresa's trash talk, including calling Melissa "a cold bitch" and "sneaky." She says Teresa accused Melissa of twisting her words (Teresa: "That's true") and finds it hypocritical that Teresa brought up supposed financial problems Joe was having in the midst of her own financial meltdown (that, she claims, the Gorgas refused to talk about). After this laundry list, Teresa admits she regrets one -- saying Melissa fills Joe's head with poison.
Andy turns the same question on Melissa, who says people had problems when she said "we pay our bills." Andy notes that everyone else may not have liked it, but what does she feel in hindsight. Melissa admits that it was the worst thing she said, but doesn't apologize, strictly speaking. When Teresa says Juicy was pissed at that comment, Melissa sticks to strict semantics and insists she didn't name names.