Andy asks Joe if he sees a future remedy to his relationship with Teresa. If there is one, I certainly won't be around to recap it! Teresa and Joe then both get very emotional. Teresa says that they both got married and changed. She wants him to be happy, and she loves his kids, and that's it. Chris says that he can see tears in the eyes of both Joe and Teresa. They do want a relationship, but everyone is sitting there arguing about trivial bullshit. What's happened with their son has made Chris realize what's important, and this shit isn't important. In Touch magazine is important, though. Chris Laurita does actually seem like a normal, sensible human being, BLK Water aside.
So, let's wrap this shit up, shall we? Teresa's bronzing glitter is catching, sadly for Andy Cohen. She is in no mood to talk about glittery things, though, since she has lost her voice. In turn, Andy has lost his hearing. You have to love how he just laughs off the destruction of a family! Andy asks for final thoughts. Caroline thinks that none of them will be too happy when they watch themselves on the reunion, but adds that the only way to heal is to speak your truth. Or, in this case, scream your truth. Caroline admits that things are terrible with her and Dina right now, but she loves Dina dearly, and where there's love there's hope. That's what family is all about. She thinks that one day all of them will sit around saying "remember when," because there's nothing stronger than the bond of family and true friendship. They've gone through so much together, and there's much hope for them, because you can't have this much pain without love. We end there, before we can hear Juicy screaming at her to shut up from backstage.
And with that, it's over! Hallelujah, we made it out alive! I had my doubts many, many times, most notably when Richie made that comment about Kathy tasting like fish. Much like in the song "Somewhere Out There," I take comfort from the fact that we are all looking at the same glowing orb and lamenting the state of humanity together. Have a lovely holiday season, and if someone you know used to be a stripper, I'd recommend just keeping that information to yourself.
Potes is free at last! Free at last! (Please don't tell her editors about the lost footage show.) Tweet her @traciepotes or email firstname.lastname@example.org with your sympathies.