To make matters worse, Kim G. and her seemingly brand new face appears on stage and takes a seat next to Jacqueline. Andy asks her to explain why she would call Danielle a square tit, when clearly they are more tear-drop shaped. Kim G. squawks about her bad boob jobs and Danielle thinks it is anti-feminist to mock another woman's breasts. Then Caroline and Danielle get in some squabble because Danielle crossed the line-of-death dividing the couch and Caroline got upset. Then Danielle accuses Caroline of invoking Kim G.'s presence and Caroline denies it until Andy reminds her that she totally did. Caroline then remembers that she has some Very Important Questions for Kim G. that will make Danielle look like a lying liar who lies. Like Danielle needs any help looking like that. Kim G. does everything she can to make her look good (unlikely) and Danielle look bad (likely). Caroline still won't go out for lunch with Kim G., though.
Then Andy reads Teresa's blog post about Kim G.'s old lady butt crack and Kim G. gets upset and she and Teresa get in a spit fight over Jacqueline's body. In short, Teresa called Kim G.'s ass aged and Kim G. called her a broke ass bitch. ALL TRUE, PEOPLE! Then Andy dismisses Kim G. from the couch and hopefully (fingers crossed!) off my television set FOREVER. Andy then makes Teresa, Caroline, and Jacqueline all pinkyswear to Danielle that they did not know that Kim G. was coming on the show. Danielle doesn't believe it anyway.
Andy reminds us that the season finale focused on the meeting of two matriarchs, Danielle and Caroline. They replay the entire fight with Caroline spewing weird aphorisms, Danielle staring blankly, and Teresa making crazyface in the bottom of the screen. Andy wants to focus on the least interesting part of the encounter, of course, namely that Danielle brought armed guards to the meeting. Danielle tries to explain that she felt threatened, but Caroline doesn't let her finish because that would be uncharacteristic. Then Jacqueline apologizes to Danielle for how out-of-control everything has gotten and then they both remember that they were once friends and had a relationship and then they negotiate some form of détente and agree to never see each other again, like England and the United States. Then Danielle tearfully apologizes about her treatment of Ashley, because she really does care about the fate of that wayward teen. All she ever wanted was an apology. Jacqueline and Danielle talk over each other for a while and Caroline tries not to sneer and Teresa tries not to barf.