We now turn to Melissa, who is cooking while her son stabs his sister in the face with a fork. It's a metaphor! Caveman Joe returns home, and hugs his daughter Antonia, ignoring the fork tine holes in her face. Joe also gives Melissa the cold shoulder, apparently because she denied him the sexytime. She explains that she was exhausted from the fashion show, but Caveman Joe is not hearing it. She says she was tired, and he says that she should wake up for him. I actually think that heavy sedatives would be the only way to get through that. Melissa says that it's only been three days, and Joe says been five. He adds that he's got so much stress and now has all this "poison" in his body. He then says that stress will kill a man, and he'll be dead by the time he's 38. That's really Melissa's best case scenario, right? Antonia thinks that her dad wants to watch more TV, and then Melissa wonders if Caveman Joe is on his period. I think he should be sent to the red tent, just in case. Once Joe stops complaining about his sex needs for a minute, Melissa explains the drama at the fashion show, and does a pretty serviceable Teresa impression in the process. Melissa obviously takes Kathy's side in the matter, and says that she was just trying to fix things and make peace. Joe says that there's nothing to fix, and then it's blah blah blah family blah for some minutes. Melissa seems to be on the side of at least giving reconciliation a chance, and Caveman Joe is typically monosyllabic in response.
And then it's time for Jacqueline to get a psychic reading! Boy, the Real Housewives franchise is keeping psychics in business, with a little help from Mob Wives. Jacqueline's psychic is Tia Belle, who is no Allison Dubois. She has some kind of fucked up jester cat mask on her wall to add an air of authenticity. Jacqueline tells us that at first she was skeptical of Tia, but she turned out to be right a lot, so now Jacqueline is a believer. Maybe Ramona can go to Tia for a second opinion about whether Mario has a lady on the side. Anyway, Tia tells Jacqueline a bunch of stuff she already knows. Ashley is a rag. Teresa has some family problems. Jacqueline should be calm and nice to Teresa, because she otherwise has daggers all around. Tia has a TJ Maxx teapot and cup set in her china closet, too, which makes me discount everything that she says.