Meanwhile, Melissa gives her kids a bath, minus the baby who is wearing a powder blue velour track suit that matches Caveman Joe's. Of course. It's the butchest thing you've ever seen. Melissa is still on Team Reconciliation, and notes how sad it is that Caveman Joe and Juicy Joe, who had been friends since they were boys, can't muster more than a passing hello at the gym. It is also sad that Teresa lives five minutes away, and their horrifyingly dressed children aren't having play dates three times a week. It will be devastating to Melissa if they don't work this out, or so she claims. As she is bathing his children, Caveman Joe tells Melissa that she's the hottest mom around, and is in fact a MILF. We learn that little Antonia is scared of monsters, and so sometimes likes to sleep in her parents' bedroom. Caveman Joe calls her a cockblocker. Father of the year! Melissa kind of likes Antonia's cockblocking ways, because while initially thrilling in a very primal way, sex with a caveman does have its drawbacks. Joe, however, tells her to put the kids to bed because he's ready to rock n' roll. Tonight's the night, he says. Melissa ignores him, since she is bathing her children, and so Joe gives her the old, "Hello? I'm talkin' to you." Aren't you horny now? I know I am.
And you know, I often think about how the kids of these housewives are, in large part, going to need so much therapy. But it is me who needs therapy after listening to Caveman Joe say the following: "The Gorga family... we're known for our sex drive. Our father was a very sexual man. I guess I take after him. What are you gonna do?" Just when you thought it couldn't get more grotesque than Danielle Staub's square tit.
Meanwhile, Kathy has kids and makes pork chops. Her son, Joseph, is 14, and her daughter Victoria is 16. Kathy micromanages her kitchen, and tells us that she doesn't want Caroline to think she's a troublemaker. Because she's so ambivalent about Caroline's opinions! Rich is sensitive to Kathy's disappointment about not being Caroline's friend, and so has apparently purchased her a new Mercedes SUV. Rich is disgusted when Teresa treats his wife rude, because she is his princess. Kathy explains to us that she is well taken care of, and not spoiled like fruit.