The next morning at 6:30 a.m., the various families prepare for the 5K, though no one seems to know what charity they're actually sponsoring. Over at the Giudice house, Teresa tries to wake up Juicy. To which all I can say is, "Good luck with that!" The man would barely even wake up to watch his kids open Christmas presents, so how willing do you think he'll be to face the darkness for some vaguely disabled strangers? Teresa admits she's nervous that her husband and brother will be interacting today but promises that Juicy said he wouldn't text Joe anymore. Also in breaking news, Teresa has the runs (and I'm not talking about the one-foot-in-front-of-the-other kind).
Over at the Manzos, everyone piles in. As you might expect, Christopher is not the most avid runner. He thinks his motivation would be helped by putting a burger in front of him and a murderer behind him. That's funny because that's exactly the technique I hear Usain Bolt uses! As they talk, Juicy calls to tell them he's slicing up sausages and plans to bring a jug of wine. As reminder, it's seven in the morning. I suspect that is not the technique ol' "Lightning" Bolt uses. Cut to the Giudice home, where even Teresa is grossed out that her husband is bringing salsicc' and vino to a breakfast run. Back to the Manzo manse, the gang gears up to leave. Of course the moment wouldn't be complete without a Big Game-style pep talk. It's not nearly as awesome as the one in Wet Hot American Summer, for which I tragically can't find a clip, but it'll do. Especially when Albie's all, "Dude, stop screaming in my ear." Oh, those Manzo boys.
The Manzo kids and Greg pass the time driving to the event by making fun of the Giudices. One of them wonders if it's even legal for Juicy to bring wine to the run. Christopher snarks, "Things Joe Giudice doesn't say before leaving the house: 'Is this legal?'" Lauren also does a Teresa impression by teasing that she's going to start writing a book on charity walks. Christopher says it'll be called Walking Italian. Lauren keeps the riff going by saying she will write one about her relationship with Melissa called Jealous Italian, and Greg chimes in that she's writing an SAT prep book called Stupid Italian. Back to Christopher, who suggests a Kama Sutra book -- Fuckin' Italian.