Real Housewives of New Jersey
Real Housewives of New Jersey

Episode Report Card
Potes: B- | 207 USERS: C+
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Man Caved

And, wow. Then we go with Teresa and Joe to one of Teresa's book signings, in a bakery. There is a line of people down the block waiting to see her, which Teresa says speaks to "what" she's "accomplished" as an "author." I think it probably says a lot about us as a nation. As Teresa is genuinely kind of lovely to her fans, Joe has a drink with someone behind closed doors. Of course his microphone is still on, and when his mystery friend asks if Joe still has the pizzeria, Joe says, "I was never there... I didn't even know what the hell was going on. I didn't do shit." I mean, huge surprise. Oh God, and then Caroline Manzo has to give her opinion on matters, saying that Teresa placed impossible demands on Joe because she wanted it all, which led to Joe's horrendous business decisions and ultimate bankruptcy, and now he resents her for it. And, she says, Joe is now going to pay the ultimate price. Her prediction is that Joe is going to go to jail, and Teresa will divorce him and say she's going to have to show her daughters how to be strong and independent and do it on your own and survive. Caroline says that there's a book there somewhere. No, there's a spin-off, you bitter old bat, and it may even be better than Don't Be Tardy for the Wedding. I will say that you'd have to hate Teresa A LOT to express any sympathy for Joe Giudice.

Meanwhile, Jacqueline takes Lauren to meet with someone who has a line of mineral makeup. Jacqueline is apparently a licensed cosmetologist and, as is evident if you look at her face, very into makeup. So she's serving as sort of a mentor and helper to Lauren as she gets her "business" "started." One of her jobs is to help find products to bring into the store (which we are reminded is going to be called "Caface," best name ever), and thus they are meeting with Richard Hanson, president of Bellapierre Cosmetics and Nicole Lotito, the CFO of ENV Consulting. Jacqueline ups the professionalism of the meeting by ordering a Screaming Orgasm and then mentioning vajazzling. We learn that Lauren Manzo's euphemism for "vagina" is, I think, "chuckie." Or "juggy." As Lauren talks about how serious she is as a business person, Jacqueline spills her Screaming Orgasm all over the table. And, scene.

Real Housewives of New Jersey

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