The final event is the three-legged race, and if you didn't think that Joe Gorga was going to make a penis joke here, you have absolutely no knowledge of humans. I don't know what kind of cheating actually occurs, but Gia is still in a giant snit and screams to Zio Joe that she hates cheaters. Melissa wants her to take it like a man, and actually gloats a little about beating a ten year old. Gia starts screaming and crying, and Teresa kind of laughs at her. In a comforting way? Teresa points out that Gia is a kid, so doesn't realize that this is all just in good fun. Jacqueline says that she didn't want Gia to take it so seriously, and so tries to joke around with her a bit. Gia is in no mood, however, and tells Jacqueline that if she thinks it's funny she can go outside. Jacqueline points out that it's her house, and then says that she was having good times until Gia brought her down. Gia snits that she wanted to go down the shore with her dad, and also wants her mom to come. Caroline tries to give Gia some tough love and lessons about respect, to no avail. She tells us that Gia is very angry, before adding a totally non-judgmental, "Children learn what they live." So, Lauren learns crippling body issues, then? Jacqueline starts reading Gia a book about bad sports that is clearly meant for four-year-olds, and in this instance I think Gia's eye-rolling is totally warranted.

Finally Teresa comes, and Jacqueline and Caroline try to get all up in it, and Gia states clearly that she ONLY wants to talk to her mom. Teresa tries to explain to Gia that it was all in good fun, and Gia's worldview is apparent as she says, "Exactly, and I didn't have fun." Ugh, I'm never having kids. Gia states that the Blue Team cheated and was mean, and that in particular Zio Joe and Melissa were mean as always. Teresa tells Gia not to get in the middle of what's happening with her and Joe. Basically, everyone recognizes that Gia is ten and thus predisposed to be kind of a drama queen, but also is sensitive to the highly acute dysfunction that surrounds her. Lauren Manzo points out that when they have a Manzo-only party and don't invite any other families, it's a lot more fun and relaxing. She's all set with Gorga/Giudice bullshit.