Real Housewives of New Jersey
Spoiled Sports

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Finally Teresa comes, and Jacqueline and Caroline try to get all up in it, and Gia states clearly that she ONLY wants to talk to her mom. Teresa tries to explain to Gia that it was all in good fun, and Gia's worldview is apparent as she says, "Exactly, and I didn't have fun." Ugh, I'm never having kids. Gia states that the Blue Team cheated and was mean, and that in particular Zio Joe and Melissa were mean as always. Teresa tells Gia not to get in the middle of what's happening with her and Joe. Basically, everyone recognizes that Gia is ten and thus predisposed to be kind of a drama queen, but also is sensitive to the highly acute dysfunction that surrounds her. Lauren Manzo points out that when they have a Manzo-only party and don't invite any other families, it's a lot more fun and relaxing. She's all set with Gorga/Giudice bullshit.

Meanwhile, Teresa tells Gia that she should listen to adults when they talk to her, and then Gia cries that she kept telling Jacqueline and Caroline to go get her. Teresa wonders why, in fact, they didn't go to get her. Gia then dramatically cries in a pretty hilarious way, "I told them to go get you and Jacqueline was reading the book, it was TORTURE!" Ha ha ha. Gia is very upset about the book for some reason, probably because she wants to maintain the illiterate traditions of her family. Jacqueline points out that Gia was throwing a fit before the book even happened, and Teresa tells the others not to get involved with her kid. Caroline, whose giant boobs are totally sunburned, does not approve of the parenting technique that involves making your kid feel like anytime they're hurt, the other party is wrong. Gia stalks off yelling, "I don't need to get no lesson." Except for a grammar lesson, obviously.

Teresa tells Jacqueline and Caroline that Gia is her daughter and she'll take care of it. Jacqueline says that she felt like they were all family, but probably should have kept out of it. Teresa points out that Gia is going through ten year old craziness, and Jacqueline notes that that's when it all started for Ashley(e). Ding ding! Cautionary tale! Oh, and then Teresa steps in it when she tells us that she and Jacqueline have different values, and Ashley(e) might be rebelling because she sees how Jacqueline is. She feels bad for Ashley(e). I feel bad for humanity. Caroline mentions that Gia said she wanted to be down the shore with her dad, and Teresa takes this moment to point out that she's not particularly having any fun at field day and would like to be down the shore as well with her verbally abusive husband. And it's her daughter who ruined the whole thing! Jacqueline is basically like, "Thanks." Eventually, Gia gets over it enough to eat a burger and accept a giant ball of provolone cheese. I guess that's progress?

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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