Real Housewives of New Jersey

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The Aftermath

Joe Giudice is taken his troupe of precious little angels for some father-daughter bonding time... at the local tae kwon do studio. Those girls know how to fight. Teresa glibly and rhetorically asks where could they have gotten that trait? She is either a brilliant and underappreciated actress with a unique ability to tread into Andy Kaufman straight-faced humor territory or she is simply completely unaware. Let's not forget she really considers herself to be a really nice girl.

At the Tae Kwon Joe studio (that was an accident, but it stays), Joe watches as his darling baby girls tag team each other into the ground with some ...well, I don't think Tae Kwon Do usually includes hair pulling, biting, or kicking on the ground, so let's call them mixed martial arts moves. So yeah, Gia, if that whole acting-modeling thing doesn't work out, I think the WWE is probably a better fit than Versace anyway. You have the face for it. Aw sn-AP! Against a nine year old! I rule! Even though she could totally kick my ass. So could Melania. But I think I could take Gabrielle. She's kind of a candy ass.

Ooh today's theme is apparently Physical Fitness (say yes to exercise, kids!) because now Danielle and her daughters are hitting the boxing gym at the encouragement of Jailbird Danny. Glad to see the girls have a healthy male role model in their life. If they are lucky Jailbird Danny could set the mold for all future boyfriends in their lives. That would be great for them. Can you imagine how lousy Danielle's ex-husband must be if Danielle is the stable one who is best suited to care for their children? I like to think about that in the bubble bath sometimes.

So all three ladies don gloves and enter the ring at LA Boxing, a gym that clearly paid a premium for the unique opportunity to train three such D-Listers. Even Jailbird Danny is wearing an LA Boxing tank top. Danielle's daughters look mortified as Danielle pretends that her trainers' hands are Teresa and Jacqueline and pounds them to a pulp. I get extremely uncomfortable thinking about how awkward it must be for those girls to have such a publicly nut job mom. Can you send someone a gift certificate for therapy? Would that be awkward? At the gym, Danielle is in her god awful super flirty mode where she is flipping her hair and being all shyly brave. This personality has been beaten into submission by Scary Eyed Danielle who is staring straight into the confessional camera and explaining how to knife someone in the shower without anyone noticing.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey




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