Real Housewives of New Jersey

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The Aftermath

Jacqueline is paying a visit to her next door neighbor Kim G. Obviously Jacqueline drove. Kim G. and Jacqueline are not actually friends. They are barely even frenemies. They merely get together to rehash events. So Kim thinks Teresa needs to work on her self-control, but Jacqueline swears that the only time Teresa acts like a rabid badger is when she is dressed like one and in Danielle's presence. Way to blame the victim, Jacqueline! Kim G. then asks whether Ashley is guilty of assault, which should rub Jacqueline the wrong way, but doesn't because she kind of agrees and may have kicked Ashley out last week, which is a cruel way to treat the developmentally disabled.

It's a usual Monday morning at putative empty nester Caroline's house. All the kids are there demanding eggs in their own special way with their names written in ketchup and pancakes in the shapes of their initials and can mommy cut the toast into hearts? Albert, too. Caroline smiles and sends them all off to work at The Brownstone with sack lunches with special notes tucked inside. Except for poor little Albie who got chucked out of law school for failing to maintain a minimum GPA. He doesn't have work to go to. He can't rely on his daddy for a job. He has to rely on his pending lawsuit against the school to make his Ed Hardy and Axe Body Spray money. So sad. He pouts a little and Caroline promises to take him for an ice cream cone later. With sprinkles! He turns his frown upside down as his mommy tickles his tummy.

Teresa has realized that she might owe Kim D. an apology for bringing so much fame, notoriety, and publicity to her fashion show. I mean, people might know about Posche boutique now! By the way, I've decided it IS pronounced like Porsche without the 'R' just because saying it out loud several times has made me feel extra special and smart just like Kim D.'s clientele. Go ahead and try it! I'll wait. See? Don't you just want to wear fur and run your Range Rover over lesser people?

Teresa feels really bad about all the publicity Kim D.'s show got and really wants to make sure Kim D. knows that she wasn't trying to start something. She is just a grown up who wanted to say hello to another grown up in a very grown up way. She can't help it if Danielle decided to try and get a rise out of her? Tried and failed! I mean when Danielle claimed Teresa's house was in foreclosure, Teresa just shook her head, sighed, and walked away, right? We all saw that. Teresa cracks me up because she so clearly seems to think that none of us will actually see the tape of that evening. You know, when she picked a fight with Danielle and chased her through the halls of the country club? Remember? Teresa doesn't. It's like she huffed gas because she saw a picture of Dina Lohan doing it and looked like a good idea.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey




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