We then get Kathy updates. Her dream has finally come true and her homemade cannoli kit hits the shelves this year. Poor Victoria decided to attend college in New Jersey, and Kathy and Teresa have been communicating recently... through text messages. Ha, and then we learn what's been going on with Melissa. Her single "How Many Times" made it to #4 on the iTunes charts. There is a special Housewives chart? I hope "Money Can't Buy You Class" is the perpetual number one. And then: "Melissa and Joe put their house on the market for $3.8 million... so they can be away from Teresa." Burn.

Teresa tells us that after the fashion show, her brother Joe sent her a text message saying, "You're dead to me." And it turns out that she fucking hates him too, so I guess that all worked out. In other Teresa news, she wrote another New York Times best seller called, Fabulicious! Fast and Fit. She must be eligible for some sort of prize for being the functionally illiterate person with the most New York Times best sellers! Juicy is still waiting on a trial date for his 2011 arrest, and if found guilty could face possible jail time. Teresa has not seen her brother since the Posche fashion show, and recently apologized to her fellow castmates, except Kathy... in a magazine. Ha! I mean, checkmate.

Over the sounds of sobs, Jacqueline tells us that she had a breakdown after the Posche fashion show. Such a delicate soul, that one. She tells us that it's time for her to step away. Jacqueline is focused on raising CJ and Nicholas. Her relationship with Ashlee (who is still in LA) has never been better, and she has not spoken to Teresa since the Posche fashion show. In Kim D. updates, she's moved under a larger bridge, and managed to get her parasite problem partially under control and her scabs down to a manageable level! She's opening a new store called Scum Style, which is sure to be a success in the greater Franklin Lakes region.

My DVR cut off before the reunion preview, but I assume it will be the standard shit-fuck-fest!

Potes actually has never been a stripper, but would like Bald Guy to accuse her of it just so Joe Gorga can come to her defense. Tweet her @traciepotes or email potesypotes@gmail.com.