Eventually it's show time, which is less ballroom and more fan-based weirdness. Oh yeah, and there's an old lady in a flapper costume and some be-fringed Q-tip people. Antonia marches out (literally) and romps around with a black Tony Manero, exposing her little pink panties under lacy leggings when she does a heel stretch into the splits. The family cheers for her and gives her huge hugs when she emerges from backstage. A heartwarming moment between the two Antonias inspires Melissa to let go of the pettiness and let bygones be bygones with Teresa from here on out.

Upstate, the gang heads out drinking out the B&B Lounge, which Caroline snarks means "Busted & Broke." The night starts with shots, which soon leads to some inappropriate dancing between Teresa and Juicy. More shots later, Teresa goes on her manhunt for Dolores. And hey, there's Teardrop from Winter's Bone! Get it, Dolores! Teresa takes the stage to announce that Dolores is looking eligible bachelors and tasks the men with saying their best line on the mic. Things really go wrong when a sexagenarian in a Kangol hat tells Dolores she makes him melt like butter. Long story short, there is a dearth of juiceheads in the Catskills. Shocker.

The next morning, more shooting and more faux fur adorning Teresa's body. Caroline has already entered her vacation (and presumably actual) hangover. Before they can head back to Franklin Lakes, however, the group attends church in the chapel at the end of Teresa's driveway. Teresa requests a moment of silence, but Caroline and Jacqueline can't keep their shit together at the juxtaposition of shooting guns then going to church. Don't move down South, child. They finish up their mini-service, and Caroline issues a prayer: Please, God, just let us get through the holidays.

Next week: Melissa continues to pursue her singing career. Kathy makes steps toward opening her restaurant. Lauren feels left out. Juicy faces legal drama. Kim G. returns. And Joe Gorga dresses in drag... again.