Real Housewives of New Jersey
Teresa's Got a Gun

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: D | Grade It Now!
No Country for Juicy Men

A bit after that, Caroline, Albie, Christopher, and Caroline's friend Dolores arrive to a 21-gun salute. Caroline says she loves the country and had a working farm growing up. However, she doesn't like the chaos of this household. She wonders exactly how responsible these gun-toting nutbags are. Teresa emerges in a hide and fur ensemble to greet them. Caroline okays gun shooting but forbids her boys from riding four-wheelers because one of her friends in high school was decapitated in an accident. Teresa thinks Caroline should loosen the leash on her 20-something boys.

Teresa brings up her conversation with Melissa the other day. She doubts Melissa's sincerity in admitting any wrongs. Jacqueline wonders if they might both be too stubborn to make it work, but Teresa insists she's now dealing with a clean slate. She knows she did the right thing. Caroline says Italians do everything bigger -- love, laugh, fight, and make up. She's been in a similar situation with various members of 10 brothers and sisters, plus their husbands and wives. Teresa tries to get Caroline to loosen up a little by drinking, but Caroline wants to leave the option open to escape at any moment. Good thinkin', red.

That afternoon, the ladies head into town and contemplate the idea of cow tipping while the men shoot watermelons they've nailed to trees. Juicy proves quite adept at the shooting and compares himself to John Wayne. Chris jokes that no one who sees Juicy with a gun would ever date one of his sisters or cousins. Chris wonders if Juicy has given Teresa a holiday budget, but Juicy says Teresa does what she wants. In town, the ladies are also talking about shopping. Teresa promises not to go crazy like she normally would. she thinks her kids will be happy with one or two things, which I find patently absurd. Delusional much? They head into a store and find out about all the hot clubs in town, thinking maybe they can find Dolores a man that night. Meanwhile, the guys get their four-wheeler on. Christopher knows Caroline told them not to but says she has nothing to worry about because Albie "drives like a bitch."

Gorga mansion. Joe gropes all up on Melissa as they prepare to go to Antonia's recital. They get into the car, and Melissa tells him to spend every minute possible with his parents because she regrets not having more time with her deceased father.

Catskills. The ladies have arrived back, and Juicy brags about his marksmanship. Caroline notes how much more comfortable Juicy is now that he's shot some rounds. Teresa sees how Caroline interacts with her brother Chris and is sad for what she's missing with her brother. Eventually Teresa's father brings in the pig, which grosses Caroline out. Not helped by the fact that Christopher is wagging the tongue in front of her face. A few minutes later, Chris waves a lamb head in front of her until she squeals and runs off. She insists she's only having pancakes and popcorn from here on out. Chris makes a toast, and they all sit down to eat. Juicy promises to be civil with Joe and Melissa at Jacqueline's holiday party, though he jokes that he's going to give Joe a wedgie one of these days.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey




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