Over at the diner, Danielle is still filming her PSA. Drinking and driving is disgusting! Putting out negativity, brings more negativity, she learned that on Oprah. Danielle is living in love and light, while darkness rains down on Teresa and the Manzos. She's living her Best Life, bitches!
Jacqueline, Caroline, and Teresa have the sads about all the darkness raining down on them. Also, indictments. How about a nice little vacation out of the jurisdiction? Maybe to Italy? Do they have an extradition policy? Caroline needs to check with Albert to find out whether or not he loves her. The only way to prove his love is with a vacation. Meanwhile, Jacqueline has a scheme. She dresses her two sons in the colors of the Italian flag, serves up some spaghetti, cracks open a bottle of Barolo, and pouts that she needs a vacation from all the pedicures. Chris gets it.
Back at the Brownstone, Albert is open to the idea of a vacation, but not with 10 kids. Geez, Albert, you don't want to see the joy on ten children's faces when they realize you are trapped on an airplane with them for seven hours? Grump. Teresa and Joe tell their girls that they are going on vacation without them, but after all the girls are hyperventilating and crying, Teresa yells: I'm kidding! It's a joke! Mommy made a funny! Hahaha! The girls are unimpressed with mommy's sense of humor. Caroline can promise that that her kids aren't coming, but Albert wants more. Joe is in tears thinking about how much it will cost to bring four girls, Teresa, and her parents to Italy. He could have been dead! He could have been in a nursing home. Instead he has to pay for this. Then Jacqueline decides to bring their parents, too, because then they will have babysitters. Please let this turn into the Brady Bunch trip to the Grand Canyon and (spoiler alert!) they all get locked in a jail in a ghost town and die a thousand deaths each.