Real Housewives of New Jersey
Real Housewives of New Jersey

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LuluBates: A+ | 1203 USERS: B-
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Long Live the Matriarchy

Meanwhile, over at The Brownstone, everyone from the littlest Giudice to the oldest Manzo has gathered around a large table to wait for news of Danielle's demise. No, really. They are all just sitting in a badly lit room waiting for news. Clearly there is some drinking to be done. Chris orders a large red wine and Coke and I am not even kidding. Albert blames Ashley for his wife being in an awkward situation, but pretends he thinks it is worth it. Then Jacqueline tries to point out that Ashley needs to be P for punished, but not in jail. Ashley immediately gets up to leave the room, because AWKWARD. Ashley goes to cry in the ladies room and Jacqueline storms after her and tells her to man up already. Surprisingly that tactic doesn't work, so Lauren heads to the front. By the way, The Brownstone has lovely bathrooms. Well done, Chris Manzo, as I'm sure you were the one cleaning it. Don't worry, everyone has to start somewhere. Of course, Albie got to start by going to law school and you're cleaning the ladies' loo, but don't worry, your parents love you equally. Anyway, Lauren tells Ashley to man up and it works. Some things are just easier to hear from peers. Ashley comes back upstairs and her boyfriend reminds her to be polite to her mother. She glares at him, but remembers that he is her ticket out of her mother's house and nods. People are getting anxious and restless as they wait for news.

Danielle enters the room, nods at Caroline, and sits down. Caroline starts reading her Hallmark slogans off of prepared 3X5 notecards. She has tried to stay out of Danielle's life, she has tried to convince her family to stay out of Danielle's life, she thinks everyone is trying to win at a game that can't be won, she knows they are all adults, it's a small town, they should move past this. She takes a deep breath and blurts that she doesn't know why Danielle is pursuing the case against Ashley when Danielle of all people knows what it is like to be young and make mistakes. Danielle doesn't appreciate the mention of her prostitution-whore past, but calmly reminds Caroline that Ashley assaulted her. Caroline agrees. Danielle says Ashley must be punished and Caroline agrees. Caroline thinks that if Danielle wants to pursue a career in love and light, she should forgive Ashley to show her the path of redemption. Give her a real Razor's Edge type of moment. Caroline swears that Ashley is sorry and has integrity to stand up to what she did. Actually, Caroline, Ashley just said she wouldn't apologize to Danielle, so now you're just lying. Caroline then demands to know what she personally has ever done to Danielle. For some reason (mortification?) Danielle doesn't remind her that she called her garbage on national television. Instead, Danielle asks Caroline what she ever did to her? Caroline clenches her jaw, leans forward, and stares Danielle levelly in the eyes and says: I am Jacqueline, I am Dina, I am Ashley. When I stand, I don't stand alone. Which I am pretty sure is straight from Nietzsche.

Real Housewives of New Jersey

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