Back at the Gorga household, Joe whips off his shirt and tells Melissa he wants a quickie. And, wow. If you want to lose any trace of sexual desire, just watch this scene of Joe kissing Melissa's feet and talking about how he wants her to help him release the poison so she'll dance a little better at Beatstock. And then Antonia comes running in and tells her parents she's scared. ME TOO, KID. She wants to sleep in their bed with them, which I guess she does all the time? I don't know, it's stupid and staged. Way to traumatize us all with something that doesn't advance the plot OR involve a screaming match about Teresa.
And then, back to the BLK caravan. As the crew enters DC we hear Greg chant, "My president is black. My water is black." Great catchphrase! I'm sure it will fly off the shelves. The guys talk about wanting to have fun on their last night before work sets in, but Chris is anti-fun. He tells them that they can each have one drink. They arrive at The Russia House, where a whole lot of vodka is available. Chris orders water, which makes Christopher feel a little guilty. The conversation turns to Lindsey, as it is wont to do, and Albie tells us that although he's not really interested in having a girlfriend at this time when he must focus so intensely on work, he knows he can't pass up a girl like Lindsey. And then the conversation turns back to vodka, and the boys all do a whole bunch of shots while Chris looks on with disdain and tries to give them some uncle-ly advice. And then Christopher pukes. Chris tells us that at times when he's worked with family, it hasn't worked out. If someone isn't pulling their weight, it could be a problem. What if they're pulling their weight in puke and scrapple? Yeah, still a problem, I guess.
And then it's time to visit the fresh hell of the Giudice household. A little terrorist who is NOT Milania for once tells Gia that she looks like a boobie girl. Is that kiddie parlance for tramp? In any case, Gia does not like it. Then Teresa tells Milania to go get daddy in her bedroom, and Milania busts out with, "Daddy's sleeping in his own room!" Between Jacqueline and Milania, Teresa really has no chance of keeping her personal business to herself. Speaking of, Jacqueline interviews that there have been plenty of rumors for a while that Teresa and Joe basically lead separate lives, but put on a face of togetherness in public. Trouble in that paradise of a marriage? Shocker, I know. One of Teresa's hair or makeup people tells the clan that Melissa will also be performing at Beatstock, and Gia's instant (and presumably correct) reaction is that Melissa will lip-sync and have a CD backup. Milania calls Melissa a big chicken, and Teresa confirms to her beauty crew that Melissa was lip-syncing at her release party. She is curious to hear Melissa ACTUALLY sing, probably so she can talk about how Melissa can't really sing. I guess we'll all have to wait for the live album, A Wench Like Me: Melissa Gorga Goes Acoustic. Gia does the booty-popping part of her dance routine, and we're out.