Real Housewives of New Jersey
The Sniff Test

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If I Was Your Girlfriend

After a break, Melissa's producer shows up to ask if she's ready to do another show. A BIG show called Beatstock. Melissa, having seen people get booed off the stage at Beatstock, is a tad bit nervous about taking on this challenge. She's excited, though, and requests a choreographer to help her prepare. What, Joe Gorga doesn't have some moves that she can cop?

And then it's time for hijinks with Chris and Albie and Greg. It turns out that Albie had an overnight guest, who MIGHT have been a lady. Greg is very interested in this issue, but all Christopher really cares about is eating Tater Tots. It takes all kinds. It turns out that it's Greg's birthday, and Christopher wants to make him think that they all forgot. They have a secret surprise party planned for later, though. It's like a continuous Three's Company episode with these guys, is it not? We then catch a quick glimpse of Lindsey, Albie's girlfriend, just as she's leaving. Greg starts to give Albie shit, and Albie says that she was just sick and needed a place to stay. And I mean, whatever, he's lovestruck and doesn't have to make sense. Christopher thinks that Lindsey is nice enough, and also has the benefit of being a professional cheerleader. Alexa Ray Joel is going to be so heartbroken when she learns about this. Albie has imminent plans to introduce Lindsey to Caroline and Lauren, and is understandably nervous because his whole family is kind of crazy.

And speaking of crazy families, we transition to some sort of dance audition with Gia and her manager, Maria DeSantis. Gia is dressed like Humbert Humbert's dream, which of course gets major approval from Teresa, who is watching from the sidelines. And hmmm. It turns out that this is an audition for Beatstock. I had never heard of Beatstock before this episode, but it's rapidly losing cred. In other Beatstock related dancing, Melissa shows up to a Fred Astaire dance studio franchise to work with choreographer Cris Judd. He's also rapidly losing cred, eh? Cris wants to see how Melissa naturally moves, and after she dances a little he gives her guff for the herky jerky movements that reveal her lack of self-confidence. He imparts some wisdom about staying still that he learned from Michael Jackson. That is a choreography racket if I ever heard one. "Just stand still! It makes you look really confident!" And then we cut back and forth between Gia dancing and Melissa dancing and it is more than a person should have to deal with on a Sunday night.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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