While the food finishes cooking, the Manzo boys share their New Year's resolutions. Albie wants to chill out. Christopher wants to think of others beside himself. They ask Bratshley if she has a resolution in mind. She obnoxiously says she wants Chris to like her. He clarifies that he loves her, just doesn't like how she acts all the time. Like being a wench who airs this kind of dirty laundry at a family holiday gathering -- and puts it all on him to boot. Chris tells her to be more responsible and respectful, and assures her that he believes in her. She just needs to work harder for things rather than expect things to be given to her. He tells her she needs to listen more closely to him and Jacqueline, and you can tell by her rolling eyes that this is a bridge too far. Soon enough, she falls back on the tears. In an interview, she acknowledges that she has screwed up a lot in the last several years but insists, "I'm really not a bitch."
Meanwhile, The Gorgas and the nanny head to their first party. Joe announces, "I'm gonna have a lot of drinks tonight, babe." Ah, comforting words from the driver. Joe is anxious that things will be strained between them and Juicy's parents. He returns to his anger they were that Juicy's side of the family spoiled the Christening, but Melissa wisely cuts him off at the pass and tells him to move on. As an olive branch, they have brought cookies. Not sprinkle cookies. They are to Teresa what wire hangers were to Joan Crawford. Jersey Dearest.
As they park, Teresa welcomes her guests. She pointedly mentions that she has made sure she is very close with her sister-in-law Maria, just as Juicy is close with his brother-in-law Duma. From this, she deduces that it must be all on Melissa to make their relationship work. Fuzzy logic. Not unlike Teresa's bird feather sleeves. The Gorgas arrive with a seriously huge haul of presents and the much-touted pignoli cookies. As Joe hugs his father, Teresa and Melissa immediately get into it over who looks like more of a hooch. I'll settle this quickly: You both lose. Joe comments that Juicy's sister is looking sexy, and Teresa explains that they all used to play house together when they were kids, and that Joe used to have a crush on Maria. Teresa and Joe sit down next to their father and take a photo, but Joe's heart is heavy about the conflict they've been through in the last few months. He feels like he's letting his father down.
The mood soon lightens when Santa (a.k.a. Teresa's mom in costume) arrives to hand out presents. The kids become the center of attention, and Melissa thanks Jesus that nothing has gone wrong... yet. Milania shows she's got some gumption when she quickly points out that Santa is clearly her grandma in drag. Teresa quickly calls her mother, who has changed, back out, to complete the fleecing. Ahhhhh, Christmas. A time for tricking little children. And arranging them in rows to take endless pictures. The sights of his children, nieces, and nephews getting along brings a flutter of joy to Joe's heart. Which quickly turns to possessive mocking when he sees Gia's Kate Middleton ring from her classmate.