Caroline: "That's why you're the daughter I never had."
The magazine talks about how much everybody hates Teresa, but of course because Teresa is a monster she says they hate her because she is poor. Surprisingly, Jackie thinks this is hilarious, and even more surprisingly, Caroline thinks this worth getting bitchy about.
Caroline: "The thing is that Joe Giudice doesn't really need money that much. Just someone to abuse. But Teresa, she really thinks money matters."
Lauren: "I was just thinking that. The same thing you just said."
Caroline: "Well, you were wrong. As usual."
Jackie: "My understanding is that the Giudice's main source of income is magazine stories like this. So in the final analysis, does it even matter if they're true? She's dumb and deluded, so either way it's true to her. I don't see Teresa being capable of manufacturing controversy."
Chris: "I'm torn. I want to see Caroline freak out about this, because that's funny, but then too I don't feel like putting on pants."
Jackie: "It's hilarious to pretend that I have hope or sympathy for Teresa, so that's what I'm going to do. But I do wonder how Caroline will react. Either she will realize this doesn't really impact her life either way, or she is going to act like this is a huge attack on herself and her family. I am guessing B."
Caroline: "The answer is B."
Lauren & Greg: "We don't really know what you want us to say right now, but we're pretty sure it's going to end up mostly being about you ranting anyway."
Caroline: "This magazine where she barely mentions me is a slap in the face."
Lauren & Greg: "I don't think you should have a fight with her about this. She's kind of too dumb to talk to."
Caroline: "I agree with you, but I am still going to start shit."
Lauren: "So we're taking the high road?"
Caroline: "That would be the best thing, wouldn't it?"
Teresa & Joe: "We are so sexual!"
Joe: "Please stop bothering me because I am asleep."
Teresa: "But I'm bored!"
Joe: "This fake wedding is kind of depressing."
Teresa: "Because of servile rights. Several rights? Civ... Civil rights."
Joe: "But I bet it will be a lovely wedding. Gays are fuckin' classy."
Joe: "Greg! How loose is your butthole? From getting sodomized all the time."