Oh God, meanwhile, Teresa is hanging out with insufferable hag Kim D. at her sad and abandoned community pool. Teresa explains that she likes Kim D. because she is a total sycophant, though of course she does not use the word "sycophant." If she tried it would come out something like, "Kim D. is a total elephant. Whaaaaaaaaaaa?" Kim D. plies Teresa with wine, as Teresa gets the text from her brother Joe suggesting that they go to family therapy. OH MY GOD, and then we get a shot of Kim D.'s torso in a bikini. Holy fucking fuckballs, you guys. Her chest is made of that Birkin bag that Clint Eastwood's daughter set on fire (while on fire) and widely spaced cantaloupes. If she knew what was good for her she would be wearing a dickie to the pool. Teresa's skin looks dewy and youthful by comparison. Kim and Teresa talk about how Joe was engaged three times before marrying Melissa. What does that have to do with anything? Teresa says that she doesn't need to see a therapist. Uhhhhhh. Hmmm. Kim D. says that of course Teresa doesn't need to see a therapist, but maybe Joe does, and it would be nice of Teresa to go with him. Teresa explains to us that she and her family are old-school Italians and don't believe in therapy. They're all such super-functional human beings, too! As evidenced by how well their family celebrations go! And then Kim D. tells Teresa that she doesn't need therapy, and in fact no one has their shit together more than Teresa. This should tell us something about the company that Kim D. keeps.
After a break, we check in with Caroline. She and Lauren are packing for Caroline's brother Jaime's gay wedding! He's marrying his partner Rich after 13 years, and the theme of the wedding is "pastels and hats." Caroline explains that Caroline Manzo doesn't wear hats. How then to explain the constant hat head? Lauren calls Jaime to ask his fashion advice, and he tells her to wear whatever she thinks is right. He then asks Caroline, as his only sister who is coming to the wedding, if she'll do a reading of some sort. Maybe she can just recite a transcript of Caroline Rules? Caroline tells us that she's one of eleven children, and with a family of that size you can neither expect everyone to be in the same place at the same time for a hastily assembled gay wedding, nor can you expect harmony throughout. She finds it sad that only she, her brother Chris, and her mother are going to the wedding. Dina Manzo will not be in attendance, despite the fact that she is quite close with Jaime. I am literally on the edge of my futon with anticipation of more information about the Dina/Caroline feud!