Melissa says there has been hurt on both sides. Teresa, totally missing the point says, "Yeah, tit for tat." Melissa's, like, "Wait, no..." And then it devolves into the same old squabbling between the two of them like nothing ever changed. They need to fire this shit up over a grill in Brooklyn if you ask me. (Because that worked so well for Jill and Alex... oh wait...) Melissa tells Caroline how the whole Gorga-Giudice-Wakile clan used to vacation together, and she'd like to try that again. Teresa's voice goes to a frequency only dogs can hear in her response to that one.

Melissa suggests that the new year is a perfect time to forgive and forget. Teresa snaps back, "You can forgive all you want." Caroline warns Teresa that she will regret not reaching out to her cousin, then tells her she can refuse the olive branch only so many times before she becomes the bad guy. Jacqueline interviews that this friction could be easily resolved if Teresa wouldn't be so stubborn. The solution? Invite Jacqueline and Caroline on the Gorga-Wakiles' family trip -- Teresa says it's the only way she'll go. I suspect it's the only way Andy Cohen would foot the bill.

It's 30 seconds to midnight, and Albie's fist pumping, y'all. The clock counts down, and everyone shares hugs and kisses. Well, not everyone, obviously. But the people who aren't assholes. Caroline stands on the sidelines and surveys the scene: Her kids all grown up, her friends Teresa and Juicy going through a troubled time, Jacqueline dealing with a spoiled wench of a daughter, and the ongoing family feud between Teresa and her... everybody. Says Caroline, "They're wasting precious time." Kathy walks over to wish Teresa a happy new year, which Teresa brushes off and turns back to her daughter. As Juicy literally fondles Teresa on the dance floor, Rich says bitterly, "Fuck Teresa. New year, same assholes."

Next week: Kathy thinks it's time to have "the talk" with Victoria. Melissa starts recording. Lauren struggles with body imagine. Bratshley's dad comes on the scene, which only makes her attitude worse. Teresa's kids make a shambles of her cookbook photo shoot.