Teresa bemoans everyone's lack of humor and shouts, "What is this world coming to?" She likens herself to a modern Lucille Ball. Then what happened? "Teresa's second cookbook spent one week on the NY Times bestseller list. Amid allegations of fraud, Joe abandoned his multi-million dollar bankruptcy filing. Teresa is now working to pay back her debts." What is this world coming to indeed.

Back at the Wakiles, Kathy shakes her head while Rich notes how many bridges Teresa has burned. The title card tells us, "Kathy is still stirring things up... in the kitchen. With Rich's deep wallet, she hopes to bankroll a dessert company. Kathy vows never to use the word 'unattended' in Teresa's presence again."

At the Gorgas, Lysa tells Melissa to keep the peace. We learn, "Melissa's single 'On Display' reached #14 on iTunes Dance Chart. Joe is determined to make Melissa a rockstar on stage and in the bedroom. She recently celebrated baby Joey's 1st birthday with her in-laws... Teresa did not attend."

Caroline says she's been nothing but a good friend to Teresa, even when Teresa has stepped out of line over and over again and threatened to bring down Caroline's reputation with her. She calls Teresa out for being a self-serving, ungrateful phony. As Teresa hangs up her family portrait, Caroline says being Italian is first and foremost about loyalty and trust. By that definition, Teresa is less Italian than supposedly one-sixteenth Caroline and her clan. And what's next? "Caroline hopes to take her radio show to the Big Apple. And she has some advice for Teresa... learn the recipe for friendship."

Next week: Reunion time! Jacqueline didn't show! Caroline has long hair! And Teresa tries to dig herself out of the rubble of her own imploded life. She starts by calling Melissa a devil. But I'm sure she's only joking... A regular Michael Richards is now Teresa.